complicated [lucaya]

25

Maya

"So, um" I fumbled over my words. "Your parents called looking for you last night."

Riley looked up from her physics textbook and nervously bit her lip. "Well, what did you tell them?"

As much as I would have loved to tell Mrs. Matthews that I just so happened to see Riley in Lucas' room, I figured that it wasn't my place to snitch. Besides, Lucas probably didn't tell her that he routinely gazes out of his window.

"I covered for you..." I trailed off. "But what exactly did I cover for?"

Riley's face started to turn red and she glanced out the window. "Me and Lucas finally took the next step."

I followed her gaze and my memory flashed back to last night. When I was getting ready for bed I looked out my window and caught Lucas staring at me. We kept each other's gaze for a few minutes until it was broken by Riley wrapping her arms around him. Did they have sex last night?

"So, did you guys..." I hinted at the question.

My best friend smiled and looked back at me, "He told me loved me."

And for some reason knowing that felt worst than the image of them making love. But this is the way it's supposed to be. He's supposed to love her, and she's supposed to gush about him to me. I just hope he said it because he actually feels it and not out of obligation.

"We didn't have sex," she started, "he was very respectful. Can't say that I didn't consider it." Riley blushed at the thought. Meanwhile I was mentally gagging. "I just feel like we connected for the first time."

"I'm really glad that things are finally on track for you guys. You deserve it." I smiled and looked down at my book.

I was doing my best not to show my disappointment, but I knew I wasn't really fooling anybody. At best, It was coming off like I was trying not to make things awkward.

"Any new guys in your life?"

Looking at her, I tried not to laugh, but I just had to. "I don't think anyone is interested in dating me right now, given my current situation."

"Can I ask what's going to happen with Josh?"

I sighed and tapped my pencil. "I-I don't really know." The decision to press charges was shocking, even for me. In the beginning I was so against the idea mostly out of humiliation and anger towards myself. "I've been doing a lot of reading into these kinds of situations, and I'm probably just scaring myself even more."

Riley moved next to me and I rested my head on her lap. "Is it that bad?" She asked and played with my hair. "Like for you or for him?"

"It really depends on whether or not he's convicted. And on what charges."

My best friend sighed. "Well he deserves whatever he gets for what he did to you. Have you talked to him lately?"

"Nope, and your mom and my lawyer have heavily advised me not to until the trial is over. Not that I have any interest in even seeing him ever again after this nightmare is over."

We stayed quiet for a few minutes while Riley played with my tangled hair. I don't think Riley knew what to say me, and how could she? I don't even know what to say to me.

"So what's it like?" Riley broke the silence.

"What are you talking about Riles?"

She looked around the room, "You know... sex."

I was taken aback by how out of the blue that question was. It was on topic, yet unexpected. "Uh," I stuttered, as I tried to find some kind of answer. "How have we been best friends all this time, and we've never really had this talk?"

Riley shrugged. "I think I was always always kind of afraid to ask."

"Why? Because I'm a party girl that's just always having sex?" I chuckled as I fixed my now even messier hair. Riley's face dropped, I could tell she was going to try to backtrack on the subject. "I'm kidding, I'm trying to learn to laugh at myself."

She gave a sheepish laugh and blushed. "What was your first time like?"

"Wow," I laughed as my face started turning red. "I really never told you about it?"

Riley shook her head, "There have been so many secrets these past few years. Sometime I feel like I don't know you as well as I think I do."

Of course I never told Riley about my first time. I made it a point to keep that a secret. The timing was all wrong and I feel like if I told her when it first happened we would not be where we are today. I don't even think that now is the right time to tell her. Another white lie won't hurt anything right?

"It happened sophomore year." I started. She didn't ask for my first time with who.

She gestured for me to keep going. "Details please. I'm trying to catch up on memories."

We laughed, "Well, these girls that had graduated that spring invited me to a couple of frat parties at NYU that year. Long story short, I was cross-faded like every other weekend last year." I painted the picture for her. Last year was a pretty wild time. "One of the nights where I wasn't completely out of it, this totally gorgeous guy was hitting on me."

"Please tell me you did not lose your virginity to some random frat guy."

"If I did, It wasn't very memorable." I smirked. "But no, the guy started being very aggressive when I refused to have sex with him in a bathroom. Luckily, Josh was in the right place at the right time as usual and got me away from that situation."

The room fell silent again. "So what happened after that?"

I sighed and went on with the story. "We stayed at the party until about midnight, then went back to his dorm and talked for the rest of the night while we sobered up. He wanted me to be at least somewhat okay when I walked through the door at 3 a.m. but I convinced him to let me crash so I could avoid the wrath of my parents until morning."

Riley smiled at that comment. "Kinda like when he walked us home after we followed him to a college party when we were 13."

"That's just the kind of guy he was." I stared at the wall in front of me while I nervously twiddled my thumbs. It's almost surreal now to think about how Josh used to be such a nice and thoughtful guy. "I was kicking his ass in like every video game we tried to play. He was such a sore loser and retaliated by tickling me to death. I was laughing like a total dork. When he stopped his body was hovering over mine, and his face was like so close to mine. We locked eyes for like 15 seconds, then he kissed me like it was all he'd been thinking about."

"I cannot believe you didn't tell me. That sounds like such a movie moment."

I became flustered just thinking back to that night. "It felt like a movie. And he was incredibly gentle and respectful the whole time. I was still kinda buzzed when it happened and I can just remember him actively asking me if everything he was doing was okay. I felt safe with him."

And one year later I find out that most likely every other time I was with Josh and can't remember shit was because he or one of his friend's were spiking my drinks.

"If someone had told me back then that Josh was capable of harming a fly I would have immediately called bullshit. It just sucks that sometimes people change for the worst."

-

A/N: last chapter was about Lucas, and this chapter is about Maya. I thought it was about time that we got a little bit more insight on Maya's relationship with Josh. This story has gained about 1,000 more views in the past week, which makes me very happy to share this book with new people. I love reading the comments about how you guys feel about all the drama that's going on with these guys. I'm working on a flashback chapter right now, so go in the comments and try to guess which past event we will be reliving soon.

SIDE NOTE: I just started watching Beverly Hills, 90210 for the first time and can I just say that I am HOOKED. Teen Dramas are literally my kryptonite, and Brandon Walsh is my new 90s crush, just a step above Shawn Hunter.