complicated [lucaya]

9

[Maya's POV;]

"I saw you with Josh last night. I never realized just how close you two are."

Cocking my head to the side, I bit my lip and looked at Riley. "He was just being nice," I reassured her. "It would have been irresponsible of him not to make sure I was okay considering how out of it I was."

"Maya," her tone shifted from concerned friend to concerned mother. "If anyone was being irresponsible last night it was you."

Knowing she was right, I looked away and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. 

"What I don't understand is why Josh hangs out with you. Why would an almost 21-year old willingly spend time with a 17-year old."

She completely caught me off guard, and I had a gut feeling that I knew where this was going. "Riley, w-what are you trying to say?" I stuttered. "Now that I'm not 14, we just have more in common. What's so wrong with that?" The last thing I want is for my best friend to know that I have fooled around with her uncle more than a few times."

Riley shook her head as she pulled her sleeves down. "That's crap."

"We bond over causing trouble and partying. How is that crap?"

"You've never been able to lie to me without looking away." Even though it proved her right, I stared straight forward and took a deep breath. "I really wanted to believe that your crush on Josh was nothing more than just a crush, but now I'm not so sure."

My lips parted as I began to say something, but I stayed silent. I didn't know what to say at this point. "You've changed so much. You don't need to act wild to impress a guy."

"I'm not trying to impress Josh." My voice cracked.

"Zay told me you were perfectly fine last night until Josh showed up."

I ran my fingers through my hair and stared at my lap. "You know me better than that." She tilted her head and gave me a look. "You know damn well that I don't do things to impress guys."

"Then what is it Maya? Because you haven't been yourself for a long time."

Pulling my knees to my chest, I sighed and shook my head. I don't understand why everyone is so against me and Josh. It's no secret that I like him. He's mature and dangerous. He understands me. "Is this about Lucas?" She placed her hand on my shoulder. I stayed quiet. Lucas is a small, but significant problem.

Riley huffed, clearly growing tired of how distant I was being. "I get it. You've had a pretty shitty high school experience so far. You're broken and vulnerable. I don't know what's going on with you and Josh, but It's not okay Maya. My parents don't want this for you. It's inappropriate. He's a dumb college boy and I know it seems exciting. I love Josh, but he's nothing but trouble. I don't want to see you get hurt."

She paused, looking for a response. I didn't budge. "I'm not exactly sure what went down between you and Lucas, but he's not worth being all torn up over. Okay? I'm not mad at you for what happened and you're not going to lose me."

Tears were rolling down my cheek at this point. She thinks she has it all figured out doesn't she. I lifted my head and looked at Riley for the first time since arriving.

"I have no idea what happened that night Riles." I sniffled and took another deep breath. "Josh says one thing, Lucas says another. I don't remember anything."

"Maya..."

"The past two years have been filled with nothing but harassment. I tried to ignore it, but it only got worse. So I just decided that was who I would be: the girl gone wild. A trouble maker. The thing with Lucas just made it worse..."