Burning Out

Chapter 21

F A L L I N G
I N
T H E
D A R K

L i g h t  is easy to love
Show me your D a r k n e s s
~R.Queen

***

It's so dark now.

The feeling you get when the light in front of you fades away to nothing. When the floor underneath you crumbles to dust and doesn't just slide away. The kind of dark where you don't even see the shadows in front of you nor any silhouette. The kind where you just want to hide away from the storm.

But it's brewing. Madly. And it's chasing after you. Running doesn't help but when has it ever. You may escape the dark but when do you ever escape your own shadow?

The highs aren't that high and the lows are just really low. When you feel like you've hit the rock bottom but it's just a bottomless pit which goes on and on forever. And you're falling. You're flying. Arms flaying around to hold on to something and you're just spiraling down.

A halo over your head but you're far from an angel when your demon peeks through the curtain of its shadows.

When no sound leaves your lips. And you're left screaming into a void. When the feeling of being left alone feels like not being able to see the sunlight for years.

Trying to hold onto that beautiful sunlight before it fades away to black. Because you're not ready to let go of that yellow. You're not ready to let go of that orange. That red. The one you won't see till the end of your days. It's beautiful really. How you miss the sunrise when you never make the effort of waking up to see it. How you miss the sunset when you're too out of it to enjoy it the way it's supposed to be. The way you wanted to.

It's beautiful how you start finding things beautiful when you know it's the last time you'll see them. When you want to give all the time in the world to appreciate them the way they deserve.

But the storm is brewing. It's chasing like it's never before. Hiding under a shelter or thinking you'd outrun it are hopeless wishes that never come true.

When you hit the rock bottom many things shatter. That high definitely does. And when does someone ever hit a low deeper than the one last time? It's painful. It's done over    and    over.      And   over.     And    over.     And   over.

Andoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandover

The thrill is long gone now along with sanity.

It's getting dark now.

***

So inspiration finally hit me after nearly a year and that is terrifying because wow time goes by so fast. The last time I wrote was in November 2018 and it's 1 day to August 2019.

Hopefully I'm back in my element but atleast, this is something, which is always better than nothing.

Don't forget to drop a star if you liked it and tell me what you think in the comments💜