Who is Number 1?

Zombies, Chocolates, and Stalkers? OH MY!

I wake up to the smell of burning plastic. "Yum!" I exclaim. "What's for breakfast this morning?"

"Oh hello!" Robbie greets me with a grin. "When I saw you decided to join me this morning I went ahead and cooked up the finest meal I could!"

"And what is that?" I knew that the only source of plastic here are the weird people-puppets themselves. I always found it funny that Robbie, Sportacus, and I were the only people here made up of human flesh. Wait never mind because you can count Robbie out. After all the surgeries he's had Robbie's pretty much made out of plastic.

"Let me explain. *ahem*" Even his cough is sexy. "Back in the day when I was evil and had that disgusting chin I used special spy goggles to keep an eye on everyone. You see I would look through binocular type glasses and a construction of mirrors would reflect what was going on above ground back down to me. I still have the device now and used it last night. When I saw you were disappointed from what your uncle and the mayor were doing in that bedroom I knew you would come over here. So I tiptoed my tush into bed and pretended to be asleep."

"Really great story but what does this have to do with literally anything? And how did you know what my uncle was doing if you couldn't see him?"

"In answer to your first question: I cooked your uncle for breakfast. Next: Your uncle and the mayor were being so loud HUNNY THE ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD COULD HEAR THEM."

"........."

"........."

"Okay. Wait..d-did you know that I watched you sleep for 4 hours?"

"Now I do but I'm chill with it actually. I stalk you all the time."

"Oh okay. Well I'm pretty hungry can we go ahead and dig in already?"

"Of course! Or should I say of CORPSE? G-get it? Cause we're eating your uncle for breakfast?"

Later that evening I decided that I should explore a little more. I kind of like the the emo vibes of Robbie's lair and want to see what else I can find.

I come across a dark corridor soon enough. I really have nothing to lose now because when you reach the point in your life where you murder the only one who loves you, go home with a strange man, and eat your uncle for breakfast you're kinda at rock bottom.

After lots of walking I finally come to a door with a sign next to it. The sign reads; "Robbie Rotten thumbprint needed in order to continue." So I lick the sign and it lets me in for some reason. I walk inside a room with lots of nothing except a lever. So I pull it because it's a lever.

Before I know it Sportacus walks out of the darkness and looks me in the eyes. His stare is so cold. Almost as cold as his body when I was sticking him in the sewers.

"hAvE sOmE cHoCoLaTe"