The Truth of Noah Arbell

Chapter Forty One

I woke up the next morning, grabbed my costume, shoved it in my bag, walked downstairs, took my pills and left the house. After such a boring weekend I oddly wanted to go to school, mostly to see Robyn but also just to have something to do. My head wasn't feeling to bad this morning but I'm sure that will change throughout the day. I had kind of gotten used to the headaches now, but I couldn't tell if they were getting worse or not which worried me. I just wanted to know if I was ok, or if I was going to be ok. I prayed that it would happen but I'm sure in reality that's way too far fetched.

I always wonder how different my life would be if Reilly was still alive, imagine how much happier I'd be. I'd still have Reilly and I never would've gotten attacked by those guys and gotten SIS. But there's no telling, I'll never know if I would be happier because I can't get her back. I also wonder about what Reilly saw before she died. I don't know how it happened but I assume she had just been thrown around and I don't know whether he threw her into the window or just stabbed her with the broken pieces of glass or maybe even some other way that I'm not thinking of, like maybe she fell and got glass in her back and he strangled her? I felt like it was best not to question it considering it made me upset.

I had been having dreams about it as well, more like nightmares. Most of them are foggy but one really stands out to me. I'm sitting there on Jayden's bed as I watch him kill my sister, her screams echo through my mind but I can't do anything to stop him, I'm frozen. As I see the life slip from her eyes that's when I wake up panting and sweating. I shook my head. Stop Noah, just focus. I walked into the school and met up with Alex.

"Hey buddy, how are you?" He asked smiling.

"I'm good." I nodded.

"Really? You look a little pale." He shrugged.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I sighed.

My blinks are slow and my eyelids feel heavy.

"Noah?" Alex asked.

"Hm? Yeah?" I asked after slightly zoning out.

"Do you need to sit down?" He asked.

I shook my head.

"Noah." He urged.

"Alex, stop!" I exclaimed.

"Please sit down." He demanded.

"Why!?" I asked.

"Keep your voice down." He demanded in a whisper.

I could feel people watching us.

"Why do you want me to sit down goddamn bad?" I asked. He looked at me sadly.

"Alex." I stated.

"Just please do it." He sighed slightly tearing up.

"Maybe if you tell me why." I shrugged.

"Because I feel like you don't know what's best for you anymore and I'm worried about you." He sighed averting eye contact.

I didn't answer, I just sat down on a nearby bench. So much for my head feeling better than usual, it hurt so bad right now. Probably from all of the yelling. Alex thinks he knows what's best for me, but he has no idea how I'm feeling or what I'm thinking. I didn't feel like arguing with him anymore than I already had.

The bell rang. Alex reached his hand out to me to help me up.

"I'm fine." I scoffed.

He just walked off to class. I made my way to my locker so I could get my binders and stuff together. Robyn walked over to me and hugged me from behind.

"Hi." She smiled.

"Hi." I sighed.

"Something wrong?" She asked.

"I'm fine." I nodded.

"Are you sure?" She asked.

"I'm fine! Jesus, how many times do I have to say it!?" I slammed my locker shut, pushed her arms off of me and stormed off.

"Noah?" She asked as she followed after me.

I didn't stop. The only thing going through my head was, "unusual behavior change." Those three words were on repeat in my mind. Was this a change in behavior, it has to be, right? Unless I'm just in a really bad mood which doesn't make a whole lot of sense but I guess at this point anything is possible. I didn't know why I was so angry, but it felt good, it felt like I could finally get rid of all of this built up anger without crying. Although I didn't enjoy the fact I couldn't control myself around the people I love.