The Name Game ➸ Tyrus (COMPLETE)

9

TJ's POV

It's been a whole week since that conversation with Cyrus. The more I think about it, the more horrible I feel about how I left him standing all alone in the school corridor. I haven't shown up to school since the incident, and I'm pretty sure the office staff is going to notice that I've been impersonating my dad at some point.

I guess I'm kind of in the wrong, too. After all, I've known about Cyrus and my feelings for him since we were little kids, and I still never brought it up to him. All those times he talked about feeling like he "knew me in a past life" or "felt some kind of long-term connection" to me were all perfect opportunities to explain everything to him. I just never quite found the courage, I guess.

Cyrus hasn't texted me or tried to come over, but I can't really blame him. The ball is basically in my court. I sighed and gelled my hair for the millionth time that morning. It was Saturday, and I was thinking of going to the Spoon to see my sister at work. I may or may not be going mostly because I think Cyrus will be there, too. I ended up deciding to wash my hair, remembering that Cyrus always liked running his hands through my un-gelled hair. I miss the feeling of his small, gentle fingers working their way through my hair and caressing my face. I so badly wanted to find him and explain everything to him. I wanted us to forgive each other so badly and just skip to the kissing.

I ran downstairs and slipped my shoes on, not bothering to say 'good morning' or 'goodbye' to anyone in the quiet household. It didn't appear as though anybody was home, anyway. As soon as I opened the front door, I immediately came nose-to-nose with...Cyrus. I held my breath and he seemed to do the same. "Cyrus..." I choked out, my voice three pitches higher than normal. I winced at my awkwardness and silently hoped he wouldn't notice. "Teej," Cyrus started, his chocolate eyes dazzling as the bright morning sun cast a halo of golden light around his head. I couldn't help but inwardly gasp because of how beautiful this boy was.

"Yes...yes, Cyrus?" I mustered, clearing my throat to add a sense of stoicism to my stature. "I was thinking about what you said to me the night of the Romeo and Jules play," Cyrus explained, clearly deep in thought about it. "What exactly are you referring to?" I inquired. "Well," Cyrus started, "When you were telling me about how me kissing Gus made you feel you told me that you felt like you had just lost the most important thing in your life all over again. I was wondering what you meant by 'all over again'? And, on that note, what did you mean when you told me that you've always loved me?"

Wow, I really wasn't subtle at all with this boy. It would seem that this was the moment fate had decided upon, then. I sighed and smiled cautiously at Cyrus, who smiled back and looked at me with wide, eager eyes. "Come in, Underdog. There's something I need to tell you." 

...

"So, you've always known you were gay?" Cyrus asked, bewilderment in his voice. "Sorry, that seems like a rude and invasive question. But, I mean, I thought I was abnormal for knowing at such a young age. And in your journal you-" Cyrus cut himself off before mentioning anything else about the journal. "It's okay, muffin," I explained, placing my hand on his cheek and slowly stroking it to ease him. "I always knew. It just took me a while to be ready to be out and open to everybody else. And what you read in my journal...that was my moment. That was the moment I knew I'd be okay." Cyrus grasped the hand that had been stroking his cheek and intertwined my fingers with his own, a wide grin spread across his face. "I can't believe we really have known each other since we were kids. And I can't believe how quickly the memories came flooding back as soon as you brought it up! And I can't believe you've always loved me..."

"I really have, and I promise you that I always will, Cyrus," I confirmed. "I will always love you." "Oh!" Cyrus exclaimed excitedly, practically springing up from the couch we were currently sitting on in my living room. "Teej, that reminds me: I desperately need to tell you something. I had told you the day you ran off, but you were already gone-" his voice broke, and my chest ached as I pulled him in for an embrace. "I'm so sorry, Cyrus," I whispered softly into his ear. He seemed to melt further into me at those words. "TJ," Cyrus started again, pulling back from the hug to gaze deeply into my eyes. "I love you. I know it seems so sudden--or perhaps, not nearly sudden enough--but I love you. I will always love you, Tyler James Kippen." Tears filled both of our eyes and I pulled him close to me again, inhaling his warm scent and tracing random shapes along his back with my fingers.

"Cyrus, can I please kiss you?" I asked quietly, watching his gaze flicker down to my lips and linger in hushed agreement. We both impetuously leaned forward, and our lips collided. I instinctively placed each of my hands on both sides of his waist, and his fingers traced along my collarbone, my neck, and my jaw, finding their way into my hair and lightly tugging at it in a way that made me feel so weak. Our lips moved in synchronization, and his intoxicating taste reminded me of coffee and cinnamon. His small hands traveled downwards and lightly cupped my face, and I realize in this moment that this is it. This is everything that I was created to do; to love Cyrus Goodman and be loved by Cyrus Goodman. I felt like I was in control, using my tongue as a tool of dominance as Cyrus let me deepen our kiss. The feeling was like no other.

We pulled away for only a moment to take in a breath of oxygen, before I whispered "I love you, Cyrus" and continued the kiss. I could feel Cyrus' smile spreading from where our lips met, and I couldn't help but smile too. We pulled away once more, and this time Cyrus kissed my cheek, to my jaw, to my neck before looking me in the eyes to whisper, "I love you, Tyler James."

As the kissing slowly faded, all I could think and see and smell and feel was Cyrus Goodman. I silently chastised myself for letting so many years pass before all of this happened, but I'd like to assume that fate works on its own clock. All I know for sure is that I love Cyrus Goodman, and he loves me, and this love is going to last forever.