my brothers best friends

morning blues 😞

I woke up with mascara smudged across my face. Ethan was sleeping in the arm chair. I got up and walked to the bathroom. Wiping the makeup off my face I stared at Ethan in the corner, wondering what id say once he woke up. That's when i realised he didn't come In with me last night so when did he get here. I got in the shower and cried again, holding my breath to stop any noise escaping my mouth to avoid waking him up. I didn't do a very good job since he'd woken up and obviously heard me.

E: Cas Don't cry.
Me: I'm fine...
E: do you want me to leave?
Me: no it's ok I'll be out in a second.

I stuttered as I spoke, I heard him sit back down on the bed. I slumped my way out of the bathroom and sat on the bed with a towel wrapped round me. Ethan got up and I stared at my hands while twiddling my fingers. He tapped me on the shoulders holding a pair of sweatpants and the only jumper I own that he knew wasn't Graysons. I smiled up at him.

E: I'll wait in the bathroom while you change?
Me: okay.

Once he shut the door and couldn't see me I almost broke all over again. I felt numb, questioning everything I ever had with Grayson and wether I ever really knew him at all.
After dressing I laid on the bed and turned on my phone which I switched off before I fell asleep.
Constant notifications flooded through, missed calls, unopened messages, instagram and Snapchat dms,  all from Grayson. I opened almost all of them when Ethan sat beside me and took it out of my hand.

E: that won't help you right now, do you wanna watch something? Take your mind off things.

I nodded and thanked him briefly. He put my phone on the nightstand and turned on the tv. He was scrolling through netflix, as a couple tears escaped my eyes.

E: in the mood to watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S?
Me: always.

I gave him a weak smile and he pulled me into a hug. I continued letting the tears flow and he didn't say anything. After a few minutes I pulled myself from the hug and laid next to him watching the show. We both faintly laughed when jokes were made. I knew I shouldn't but I started blaming myself for Grayson cheating.

*was I not giving him enough? I must've done something wrong*

Another call from Grayson came through and I looked to ethan.
Me: can you get that?
E: of course.

He went into the bathroom answering the call.

Ethans pov:

I answered his call and left the room.

Me: she doesn't want to speak to you.
Grayson: Ethan??
Me: correct.
Grayson: you told her didn't you.
Me: you know how much I care for her and you expected me to keep it from her? Typical Grayson..
Grayson: I care too!
Me: clearly, Grayson you broke her heart, you cheated on her. You cheated on your pregnant girlfriend who loved you with all of her heart.
Grayson: loved? She doesn't still love me?
Me: I don't know Grayson! I wouldn't if you did that to me. Would you? You'd never forgive her if it were the other way round and you know it.
Grayson: well I'm still in hospital so I can't come and see her to apologise and she's not answering my messages or calls.
Me: like I said she doesn't want to see you, she needs time and so do I.
Grayson: you need time??? You tried to kill me Ethan. You tried to kill your little brother and Youuu need time?!?
Me: well this is killing her so if you are thinking i feel bad about it, you have another thing coming!
Grayson: I'm so sorry!
Me: who are you speaking to me or her?
Grayson: both! Please Ethan tell her I love and I never intended on hurting her. I love her and our baby.

*Grayson started sobbing down the phone*
Grayson: I love her so much..you have to tell her. Please E, I can't let her go, she's all I have.
Me: tell her yourself.
Grayson: you just said she won't talk to me.
Me: if you love her you will find a way. Goodbye Grayson.
Grayson: Ethan I'm sorry.

Call ended...

I ended the call And took a breather before walking back out to Cassie. She was laid on the bed giggling at the show. I smiled and as she saw me her face fell.

Cassies pov:

Me: what did he say?
E: it doesn't matter, you don't have to speak to him till your ready.
Me: thanks, I know this is probably tough on you. Him being your brother and what not.
E: him hurting you completely changed how I see him. Have you thought about when you will speak to him?
Me: not yet. Maybe tomorrow, when's he out of hospital?
E: a couple days at least I imagine.
Me: well then I'll probably visit tomorrow, come with me?
E: your not alone and you never will be whilst my heart is still beating.
Me: what do people usually do in these situations? Go out and get drunk.

I shrugged looking down at my stomach. Stroking it softly thinking about what's going to happen to the baby if Grayson isn't around.

Me: my baby is going to grow up in a broken home.
E: you don't have to fix things for her, it's what you want and what's best for you, how you feel.
Me: her?

I smiled and looked down to the almost non-existent bump again.

Me: you really think it's a girl? God forbid she ends up like me...
E: The world can only be so lucky if she even slightly takes after you Cassie Garner...
Me: don't I'll cry again.
E: sorry I didn't-
Me: these would be my first happy tears Ethan. My baby girl.

He moved down and lifted my jumper
Off my stomach and kissed it lightly.
I giggled and sat up hugging him again.
E: you and this baby is all I'll ever need in my life, you don't need him when you've got us ok?
Me: love you E.

He held me in his arms as we watched  tv again and he mumbled under his breath "maybe not in the same way, but that's okay..."

I snuggled into him and drifted to sleep again.