Austins POV
“Alan, please open the door” he begged slamming his fists against the door for the tenth time.
“No, go away” Alan mumbled from the inside.
Austin sighed and turned to face Lauren who was sitting on the couch looking around the house obviously trying to avoid the situation going on right now
“Im sorry babe, I don’t know what got into him. But you can come back later, or I could go over to your house later?” he asked walking towards her and sitting down next to her.
She smiled and nodded “Yeah, sounds good” she said standing up and pressing a light kiss to Austins cheek
“Alrighty, Ill call you k?” he said opening the door for her to walk out
“Sounds good love” she responded and walked out getting into her car.
Austin stood in the door frame for a moment while she got into her car, waving once she drove past. He sighed slightly and walked back into the house to try and get his ginger prince out of the bathroom. He didn’t know what happened. Lauren came into the house and he introduced her to Alan, he choked on his coffee then ran to the bathroom in tears.
Does he.. Like me?
Alans POV
“Alan, please open the door” Austin said in a begging tone
Alan pulled his knees up to his chest wrapping his arms around them tightly
“No, go away” he mumbled only because he saw something that caught his attention.
On the floor laid a razor. The razor Austin used when he cut himself and had to go to the hospital. Alan slowly reached forward and grabbed it holding it close to his face as he examined it.
I could do it and he would never know.
He bit on his lip slightly.
Fuck it
He stood up only to un button his pants and slide them down to his knees before sitting back down. He stretched his legs out and lifted up his boxers on his right thigh. He gently glided the razor across his skin not hard enough to do anything, just to get the feel of the cold metal on his skin. He took a deep breath and made the first cut.
That wasn’t too bad
He took in another breath and did a second cut. It kinda looked like a upside down V so he just put a line across to make an A.
Austin
He slowly began to carve the U into his thigh wanting to spell out Austins name. As he started on the I the house got pretty quiet. He couldn’t hear Austin talking to whats her face anymore.
“Alan, please” he heard Austins soft voice behind the white door.
He looked up at it for a moment but didn’t respond. He just kept carving till he had Austins name carved into his leg. He smiled proudly down at it and grabbed some toilet paper and gently dabbed the cuts where they were bleeding the most. He grabbed his phone and decided to text Phil
Hey man, I don’t know what to do anymore ~ILUVCATS
What are you talking about?
Austin, he has a girlfriend now ~ILUVCATS
Are you serious? Who? Are you ok?
Some bitch named Lauren I think, Ive never seen her before. And No. Im not ~ILUVCATS
“Jesus why do I have my signature as that. Oh yeah, its cause cats are awesome.” he mumbled to himself going into his settings of his phone and deleting the signature.
I think you should just tell him man. Theres nothing else you can really do.
Yeah, I guess. Ill let you know what happens. Thanks man
Anytime bro
Alan smiled to himself. He loved Phil, he was the only one that knew about his crush on Austin. He would always go to him when Austin had a girl on the bus when they were touring. There were a lot of nights where Phil would hold Alan while he cried because Austin was hooking up with some random girl. He also gave some pretty good advice on love and life in general.
Alan sighed slightly and stood up holding the wall since he felt a little light headed. He quickly wiped the rest of the scarlet blood off of his leg determining that it was done bleeding he pulled his pants back up and buttoning them back. He looked in the mirror and frowned slightly at his appearance. He ran his fingers through his messy ginger hair trying to fix it any that he could but it was no use. He gave up and sighed.
Fuckin’ hair never wants to cooperate. I wish I had my beanie
He took one last look at himself and forced a smile but it slowly fading.
He slowly made his way to the door unlocking it and pulling it open. Austin fell against his feet as he was sitting up against the door
“Oh hey there” Alan said with a small smile as he looked down at Austin
“what was that about?” he asked curiously standing up
“Something in my eye” he shrugged trying to move past Austin but Austin moved right in his way again
“Whats wrong?” he asked again more softly this time
“I…I.. Nothing please move” he said staring down at his feet.
“Alan please, youre my best friend, my brother. You can tell me anything you know that right?” Austin said and placed his hand on Alans face rubbing his thumb against his cheek gently
Alan nodded getting small butterflies from Austins soft touch. He couldnt help it, he just loved him so much that any time Austin was around him he had trouble just breathing correctly
“I..” he began again but stopped letting out a grunt of frustration
Just fucking tell him you pussy, just say it. Austin I love you its not that hard now stop thinking it and say it
Alan shook his head trying to get rid of the thoughts in his head.
“Alan ple-” Austin started but Alan cut him off
“Austin Im gay and I love you, I have for a long time and I cant stand seeing you with that girl.” Alan blurted out quickly, he swore he could have stared a hole into the ground with how much he was looking at it.
Austin stood frozen, he couldn’t believe what just came out of Alans mouth.
“Alan, Im sorry but I don’t feel the same way” Austin said softly.
