Rose & Her Mate

Chapter-8

Rose's p.o.v-

I felt a sharp stab of pain in my head when I tried to recall where I have heard it. The pain grew intense so I clutched my head and sat down abruptly. Instantly they were by my side as I heard familiar voices call for me sounding alert and worried.

'I am fine, just a bit of headache. It will pass.' I gave them a huge smile trying to alleviate some of their worry but it was in vain. I did not think they would believe me but nonetheless it was worth a try.

'You have to take better care of yourself, rose; now that you are injured. You were always clumsy but this is taking it to a whole new level.' Adam said in a small voice but we clearly heard him.

I looked at him and was met with that familiar gaze. His look left me speechless. I wanted to ask so many questions but none came out. He smiled at my bewildered state and finally spoke out the words that I was hoping he would.

'We need to talk, and yes we have met before.' He stood up and started pacing around moving his hands trough his hair. It was only then I noticed that his hair is actually rather long. But it does not look bad. It was funny that I did not see his long hair before and I don't know from where a sudden laugh bubbled out of my mouth. It was a strange reaction to his action but I could not stop as it felt natural and familiar. Grandpa and Becca stared at me like I have sprouted two horns from my head and Adam was looking rather pleased of himself. When I finally quietned down grandpa asked him what does he mean by his statement, his tone was bordering on vehement as he stood before me in protective stance.

'I mean no offence. I have seen her at the bakery and when she did not recognize me I was sure something must have happened. So I followed her and when I saw her car crash I rushed to get her out and help her back home. I already knew where she lived as I had asked around. I am sorry for this invasion of privacy but I am not guilty of my actions. Truth to be told if I had to do it all over again I would. But what I am deeply affected about is that she has no recollection of past.' He took a deep breath and I could clearly hear how hard it was being for him to speak about it but he continued.

He made a move to come to me but grandpa was still standing there and he did not move an inch. He had to strain his neck to look at me.

'How could you forget me rose, how could you forget your... brother?' he whispered the last part and my heart plummeted down.

Brother... he... he was my... brother?! And I have no recollection of him. Does that mean I have a mother too... father or a sister... friends out there waiting for me to come back and I have forgotten all about them? How could this happen? For the first time that I have been here i was curious to find about my past. When I had woken up and could not recall anything I did not dwell on it much. Taking as that will of gods to keep me from harm I never gave a second thought about my past life. Sometime unbidden I would have deep longing in my heart but I never thought about it that much. I would indulge in it for a while and then would come out of it not minding too much about the past.

But know that I hear that I may have family somewhere out there in world looking for me I had a sudden urge to go and look for them, to meet them and see if I am loved or not.

Suddenly a dark thought sprouted in my mind. What if they did not like me? When they come to know about what happened to me will they accept me? Will I be loved; cared for if they got to know about the deranged things that happened to me last year. I shivered at the thought of their disgust filled faces when my past is revealed. I do not think I could bear that and just like that my new founded will to meet my family was razed to ground. I did not know that I was shaking, crying or digging my nails in my thighs hard enough to draw blood. It was only when grandpa hugged me and started to whisper soothing words that I came back to earth. I was aware of stares of Becca and Adam and I wanted to escape from all this. My only saving grace was that Charlie had left with lizzy to kitchen to grab milk and cookies for everyone. I could not bear for him to see me break down and get worried for my worthless self.

I felt rail roaded under the constant attack of self loathing, my emotions all haywired. But it started to simmer down as time went by. Grandpa's arms were proving to be the best place for me. I wished that I could stay here forever, sheltered in his warmth for the rest of my life. I was cocooned from everything and it started to simmer down the awful emotions, self hatred and any other negative emotion that I was feeling. Finally I felt somewhat calm and hesitantly moved away. I kept my head down wondering what I would find if I looked up.

I am well aware that Becca won't mind too much she has seen me in worse state than this and helped me pull out it too. What I was more worried about was Adam's reaction. He said that he was my brother but I don't remember him or anything of past that put me at disadvantage. I had no idea how I was in past. What if he was revolted by all this? What if he felt that not acknowledging me is best? What if he left and never came back?

I was aware that my train of thought had again started to go down the all too familiar track of humility with destination of self destruction. I tried to put a stop to it but was still on guard. Steeling my heart for the worst I managed to look up and at him. I was surprised to see sadness along with empathy in his gaze. He looked at me wanting to comfort me. But I don't think that I was ready for that. Although I felt safe and protected in his arms in my dreams and that feeling remained with me in reality but I was apprehensive.

I was pleased even contented with the surety it gave me in real life but what if all of this is conjured up by me muddled mind and vanish the second I try to realize it. I was afraid to lose this sense of security afraid of it being false and tried to keep it to myself. But he sensed it. He understood it too and he did not mind even a single bit. I could read it in his eyes his longing to take away all of my pain to ease all of my difficulties to heal all of my wounds and once again I felt relieved. I relaxed under his stare and felt grateful.

My tears were all dried out and I felt embarrassed. I was saved of this predicament of how to salvage this situation when Charlie walked inside with a large plate of cookies. The plate felt huge in his small arms and he swayed a little when walked.

'I brought cookies.' He exclaimed in his cute 5 year old voice and the problem was resolved. We smiled at his behavior and relaxed some more. The atmosphere was fully restored when lizzy came with glasses of warm milk and a huge smile. We indulged ourselves in the delicacy of milk and cookies and the incident was forgotten. But we were still aware of the elephant in the room. We had to talk on the topic of him knowing me and being my brother. I wonder if what he said was true. I guess we will find out after Becca and Charlie leaves but my heart has already declared his side. He believed him.

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