Wot you sayin'?

Blow Off Some Steam

"Hi, Dianne. So sorry I'm late. I started work" I held up my vlogging camera "early, and time just flew." I looked at Dianne (who was sat looking for something in her ginourmous bag) to see her reaction about what my work was.

"Oh cool. Are you recording now?"

"Not at the moment, no. Do you mind?"

"No, of course I don't mind. It would be so cool for your viewers to see what goes on behind the scenes!" She's perfect. She's absolutely perfect. "Oh! I just remembered! Another thing we should do is record your training footage so that we can go over it and see how to improve on it."

"Sounds good." She gave me an idea as well.

"Of course it is. I came up with it." I snorted.

"Hey, Di?" She gave me a small smile. I wonder why. "Pull my finger." She did and I farted. To my surprise, she laughed.

"Don't look at me like that. I have a dad, two brothers and a nephew. My mum isn't much better either."

"No offense to any of them. Mind you, us Suggs are pretty bad for farting. You're going to have to get used to it."

"Fart away!" Could she get any more perfect? I think we're going to get on like a house on fire.

"Anyway, what are you looking for?"

"My charger. Does your phone let you plug in this?" I looked at my phone and saw it didn't.

"No, sorry. Do we need to hook that up to the speakers?"

"Yeah, and my phone is almost—found it!" She hooked her phone up to charge and plugged it into the speaker. "Thank god for different holes."

"What?!"

"The charging one and this one." She held up each respective cable.

She started marking out all the steps, going slowly at first to show me what they were and so she could see which bits to make better.

"Go on, Joe!" All that time I couldn't help farting. "Are you nervous?" I nodded. "Sit down and tell me why."

"Well, I can't help but blow off some steam." She gave me a look that said, Are you serious? I laughed then farted after that. "Well, the jive was one of the dances I was most nervous about. It's so fast and complicated. The only saving grace is that you're teaching me."

"Awww, that's kind of you."

"No. It's true. You're telling how well I'm doing. It's doing wonders for my self-confidence."

"Well it's true. You are doing so good. You just need to believe in yourself. And do you know what else you need to do?"

"Dance?"

"Spot on. Now get up. We need to bring it up to speed." I groaned in response.