My Understandings (Austlan Cashby)

Chapter 4

*Austin’s POV*

 

“Go fuck yourself, Bourget” I snapped coldly. There’s no way I’m forgiving you, especially after the way you treated Alan.

“Speak for yourself. No wait, Alan’s doing a fine job of doing that for you.” He shot back. I blushed, and walked out of the room. How the hell did he know?! I just hope Alan doesn’t think anything of it.

“Austin? The fuck did he mean?” Alan asked softly. Shit. Now I have some explaining to do.

“I uhh, It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“Well, I am worrying about it. Tell me.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I know what will happen if I do.” I managed.

Alan was about to say something, but Tino cut him off, “Come on guys, we’re dropping you both off at Austin’s and then me and Phil are heading out for the night!”

“Be right there!” I yelled. I got up and walked past Alan, being careful not to look at him. Suck it up; you guys have a fun night planned. Worry about it tomorrow.

~Later that night~

 

We were laughing and having fun, throwing popcorn at each other and watching some random movie we found online. I knew that once the movie ended, he was going to ask again. I had to keep him distracted.

“What movie do you want to watch next? Or if there’s something else you wanted to do? Wanna watch 500 Days Of Summer?” I must have sounded a bit too obvious.

“Austin, please. Stop trying to avoid my question. What the hell did Shay mean? And why were you blushing so hard after he said it?”

“I uhh, I…” Come on Austin, just spit it out. It’ll get him off your back. Stop being a pussy. “Alan, I love you.”

“I love you too, but seriously, what’s up?”

“No, Alan, I love you. Not in the same way you love me. I love you as more than a friend.” He just stared at me; his mouth hanging open.

“I’m sorry.. I just fucked everything up, I’m so stupid” I muttered. A tear escaped my eye. I got up and ran out the door; leaving Alan alone in my living room. I ran up to my favorite place; an opening at the end of the woods, next to a cliff high above the city; only a couple blocks away from my house. I stood at the edge; it felt like I was staring at the edge of the world. Should I do it? I thought, I mean, I have nothing to live for now that I fucked everything up. I just lost my bestfriend. He’s going to think I’m stupid. I sobbed uncontrollably.  Just as I was about to step off the edge, someone pulled my hand. I fell backward and landed on Alan. He rolled me over so he was on top of me; our faces almost touching.

“Austin, you’re not a fuck up, nor are you stupid. Don’t ever try to kill yourself, ever. There are so many people that love you, including me.”

“But you only love me as a friend.” I muttered softly.

“Or do I?” he said quietly. He leaned in and connected our lips for a brief moment. Fireworks, that’s all I felt.

“I love you Austin, I have for a very long time. But just like you, I was scared to say anything, for the fear of losing you. Be mine?” He asked, after pulling away.

“Of course, Ash. I love you so much.” I smiled at him. Best day of my entire life.