The Cracks In Her Mirror

Chapter Twenty

Niko returned to school the following week, but he avidly avoided Ginger at all costs. Ever since the incident, they hadn't had a real conversation, no matter how hard Ginger tried. Every time he saw her, he would come up with an excuse to be anywhere else. Ginger didn't really know what to say either, but she wanted more than anything to talk to him. She knew that he was ashamed of what happened and she knew that he wished she hadn't seen him the way she had. Sometimes, when she went to sleep at night, she pictured Niko in his room compulsively drawing pictures of his little sister. She didn't know the story and she still didn't know why he lied. Niko had always been a person who kept to himself and didn't open up to very many people, so she knew that he hated the fact that she saw what she did. She didn't tell Kimmy or Griffin about it either. What happened that day was only between Niko and Ginger. Still, it wasn't hard for Kimmy and Griffin to figure that something went down between them. Fortunately, no one asked any questions.

After school one evening, Ginger sat herself on top of the hood of Niko's car and waited for him to come. It took a while, but when he did, he stopped a couple of feet away and stared at her. His face had been composed and he stood with his hands shoved deeply into his pockets. He wore gray sweatpants and a leather coat. Ginger couldn't remember the last time she saw sweatpants look so good on anyone. She missed speaking to him and seeing him and she knew he wouldn't be the first one to talk.

"Niko," she said. He looked down at the ground and then back up at her.

"You're on my car," he said.

"Yes, I know. It's the only thing I could think of to do. This way, you can't walk away."

"Yeah," was his only response.

"Can you please talk to me?"

"It's nice weather today," he said, "It's still pretty cold but the sky is clear blue and it's sunny. So that's nice."

"Not about the weather," Ginger replied.

"Then about what?" Niko asked, avoiding her eyes.

"Are you okay?" Ginger asked him. He sighed.

"I'm fine," he said. She slid off of the car's hood and took a few steps towards him.

"You've seen me fall apart too," Ginger said, "You don't have to be embarrassed."

"I have to go," he said before walking around her and approaching the door to the drivers seat.

"Where?" she said forcefully, stepping in between Niko and his car so that she was pressed against the door and he had no chance of getting in without getting past her.

"Ginger..."

"Where do you have to go? What is so urgent that you can't talk to me for fucking five minutes?" she asked. He rolled his eyes.

"What the hell do you want to talk about then?" he raised his voice and it shut her up. She took in a shallow breath.

"Just say it Ginger," he said, "Say what you're thinking."

"Why did you tell me she was alive?" Ginger asked. Her voice was feeble in comparison to his and she awaited his answer patiently, though she was so nervous, she was afraid she was shaking.

"Why?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Because I've never said it out loud," he said steadily. She could tell that he was holding tightly on to his calm and trying extremely hard not to lose it.

"Said what?" Ginger asked. She had a pretty good idea what the answer was.

"I'm not crazy okay," he said, "I know she isn't...I know she's gone. I've just never talked about it. I've never actually said it before."