The Degeneration of Gwen Weaver

Quiet Places

By the time we reach Marshall, it's around six or seven. The graveyard is on the other side of town, a tiny little area clinging to the edges of suburbia. Pickup trucks clamor by, deer corpses and kids toys alike tossed haphazardly in the back. The cemetery is a overgrown plot of land, unused for years because anyone worth burying here is already dead. I look out over the mossy gravestones that jut haphazardly out of the ground like the teeth of a dead man, feeling cobwebs spin up my spine. The ambient noise of a small town fades away and peaceful silence smothers me. Familiarity nibbles at my mind.

I know this place.

Faust stands by me, silent. I try and speak, my voice a careless intruder in this wild, sacred place.

"Um, so should we look for the...?"

"Yeah." He glances down at his phone. "The article doesn't list names, but we could start at the front and work backwards. I think newer graves..."

Graves.

Say my dreams are actual events. If the woman was real, then... there's no way she survived that fall.

I'm about to see a grave.

I'm about to see the grave of someone who I feel an inexorable connection too.

Unless she's not real and my dream is truly just a dream and my mind is just falling apart like a security blanet that I've outgrown and now is just rotting apart at the seams and I am just a collection of loose threads...

And I don't know what's worse.

I want to turn to my side and see Carly, hear her grounded reassurances and feel my doubts slip away. But she's gone, her golden comfort cheap gilded foil, and my mouth twists bitterly.

She was everything and now I have nothing.

The fading light strikes out through the branches, creating shadows that seem to contain multitudes. Next to me, the phone screen hits his face and transform him into something moody and grotesque. He turns to me and smiles gently. "You okay?"

I try to speak but my voice quivers. "Yeah." I lie. I can feel myself shaking, so I burrow deeper into my massive sweater. We begin to look, stepping over countless gravestones. The light fades too much and we whip out our phone cameras, but eventually even that isn't enough. Faust texts his mom and we settle down on a flat headstone to wait.

By now the day is gone competely, and we're in an area rural enough that the lights and hustle of the city are gone. I pull out my phone and dial up some music, offering Faust an earbud.

"No," he shushes, "Listen."

We sit there, the silence seeping into my bones. The thoughts in my head grow too loud, churning through my mind, disquieting-- unsettling-- oh God, what am I doing?

Faust says, "Gwen. I don't care what you say. You're not okay."

I try to make head nod, try to get my jaw to say the words my brain can't. Instead, I emit an inhuman screech-- out of nowhere, an explosion of sound the rips out of my lungs and echoes throughout the clearing. Faust recoils, scrabbling backwards off the headstone. As if I were a bystander, I watch my from curl up into a ball, my body racked by hoarse, phlegmy sobs.

Faust leans down and meets my eyes. "I won't take this bullshit anymore. You're not okay. You are not okay." He tries, with great difficulty to hug me, but I shy away. Faust sighs and stomps off, footsteps muffled by the  plush grass. I remain on the gravestone, trying to get the strength to sit up  and apologize. My body feels limp, drained completely of energy. Tears drip off my nose, freezing in the harsh air. I lay there motionless for an indefinite amount of time.

"Hey! Gwen! Come here!" Faust's voice calls from far away, an odd note of urgency in his tone.

"Not now... please."

"Gwen Weaver, you really need to see this."

I drag myself off the rock and follow his voice. He's staring fixedly down at a decrepit headstone, half-illuminated by his dying phone. I follow his gaze down to a name.

My name.

Gwen Marie Weaver

I was looking at my own grave.

I shudder uncontrollably, tears rolling down my cheeks. My breaths become shorter until I can't breathe anymore. Cautiously, Faust wraps his arm around my shoulders. And this time, I let him.

 A/N WHAAAAAT IS THIS? I updated? Yeah! I kinda suck don't I. But I'm back and I'll try to keep updating until I can't anymore. Byeeee.