𝗠𝗨𝗧𝗘 ❪ 𝒋𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒚 ❫

chapter cinco

he was feeling all these new unwanted emotions
* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ

zach|6:00am

I turn over half asleep as I open my eyes a little. I hear soft whimpers coming from Jack, but don't know if i should wake him up.

jack|6am
ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
「𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋 
      𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 STARTS」

"Z-Zach" I stutter as his lips brush softly against mine. Butterflies start wake up "I love you Jack, and everything about you" Zach whispers as he nuzzles his face in my neck placing butterflies kisses.

"Zach, but like there's nothing to like ab-" I reply as he goes in between and plants soft kisses on the inside of thighs, sliding the shorts I had on up a little. He hovers over top of me as and leans closely to my lips again "don't worry baby there's a lot to like about you" He says right before crashing his lips into mine. I kiss him back slowly keeping up with the way he kissed me.

I didn't know how to kiss and I hoped it wasn't noticeable. Zach pulled away and I suddenly felt insecure and small as he smiles softly.
"Jack you need to wake up" Zach replies out of the blue as I scrunch my eyebrows.

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
「𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋
      𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑」

"wake up J" Zach says as his voice seems to be fading away. I slowly realize that it was all a dream and in reality I wasn't kissing Zach Herron and he did not love me.

Soon enough I open my eyes and see Zach pushing back a curl falling onto my face. "are you ok" Zach asks as I open my mouth to speak. This time nothing comes out like it did in my dream. A tear falls down and I move my face to hide it in a pillow. "Hey hey it's ok if you're not able to talk right now. One day you will be able to though, so don't worry too much okay?" Zach clarifies thinking that's the only reason I'm crying.

I use to just cry because I was mute still for a lot of years. Now I'm crying because I'm scared. Scared of these feelings towards this fucking boy I barely know. Scared that if I am gay everyone will hate me even more. Scared of who to tell, i have no one to turn to. Scared of this fucking dream I just had. This is wrong I shouldn't be feeling the way I do towards Zach. I'm going to lose the only person I feel safe around when he finds out the feelings i have towards him. I can't tell him about the dream, I can't trust no one.

I break down even more into Zach's shirt as he held me softly and rubbed my back soothingly. It felt nice to be held by someone. I hope I don't lose zach he's all i have. I wipe away my remaining tears and move out of Zach's hold feeling so vulnerable.

"you ok?" Zach asks sound like he cares, but my mind tells me otherwise. I just nod and sign a thank you weakly to him. "Anytime, I'm going to go home and get ready for school, see you there?" Zach asks as I nod my head slowly as he smiles softly and getting up out the bed. He walks out the door and I hear his retrieving footsteps going down the steps as sooner or later the front door closes.

you're so stupid to think anything sexual about Zach and you
ugh you fucking disgust me
Who you going to tell, WHO DO YOU TELL
you're most likely fucking gay, just great
You're mute and a freak
Wow bravo, way to fucking go asshole
Are you actually going to go to school fag
I might not, it won't matter if I do or not though. No one will notice if I'm even skipping.
My mom won't answer when the school calls and nor will my dad because he not even in my life anymore.
Ugh