new girl // brandon arreaga

25

nick

my heart plummets. i woke up this morning with a sick stomach, partly from alcohol and partly from my ridiculous actions. all i could do was sit there and stare at the ceiling in pure, miserable guilt.

every time i closed my eyes i saw flashes of last night. some were from the party, some were from.... her.

even thinking her name feels like i'm swallowing burning hot coals.

everything played through so vividly with each blink of my eyes, torturing me over and over again.

the music blares through speakers as couples make out and grind and do whatever other nasty things they secretly do at parties—- all which i would know of.

i finish taking another round of shots with emma, my head pounding already. i feel hungover and i haven't even slept yet. i look at her and we both laugh at how obviously fucked up we are, just like everyone else in this house.

i leave to go to the bathroom, locking the door shut behind me. i'm in the middle of doing my business when my phone rings in my back pocket. rolling my eyes, i see it's a number that has no caller id and grudgingly answer it.

"hello?" i say, buckling up my pants again.

i hear a sniffle on the other end of the phone. "nick?" the voice asks. whoever called me sounds like they've been crying for hours.

"who is this?"

there's a pause before the anonymous person becomes recognizable. "it's kayla."

i stand there, my reaction time already slowed down by the alcohol, and feel the shock stop my brain from working. i don't know how she could've gotten my number. and why is she even calling me? her and i were never friends when she was dating brandon.

"why are you calling me?" i ask. my first instinct was to hang up right away, but the curiosity gets the best of me in the moment.

there's another sniffle. "i really need someone to talk to," she says.

i shake my head. "so why are you trying to talk to me?"

"because you've always been so nice to me, and none of my friends will understand what i'm going through." kayla sounds like she's ready to burst into another fit of tears.

"what?" i ask, confused and drunk out of my mind. "what's going on?"

"can you please just meet me at my house?" she sniffles again. "i need a shoulder to cry on."

i panic and the words leave my mouth before i know it. "alright, fine."

"thank you," she says.

and with that, she hangs up the phone.

one of the most frustrating parts is that i got in my car intoxicated. not just 'buzzed,' but full on drunk and stumbling. i put not only myself but everyone else on that road in danger.

i wish i could turn back time and scream at myself not to do it; to just go to bed at that point and wake up only hungover instead of in debt to one of my best friends and his girlfriend.

i stumble down the stairs and see the party is still alive. the time on my phone says 1am. i should be in bed right now.

there's a jar at the bottom of the stairs with everyone's keys and i dig through until i find mine at the bottom. i wonder if anyone would stop me if they saw what i'm going to do.