The Broken Mirror {COMPLETED}

Work Song

March 1st, 2017...

I lay in my hospital bed with the sheets pulled away and my belly exposed. A bandage covering the wound that has been healing. I stare at the bandage, proof my sister is dead. Proof I caused her to die. I cannot even run my hands over it, because of how bad it hurts. They have been giving me morphine to help with the pain and it just doesn't feel like it's enough.

When I woke up a few hours ago, I was in such a state of panic they had to give me a Valium so I would calm down. No one was there when I woke up. I was in a hospital room alone. Was I abandoned? Is my guilt for what I did so bad, that my parents could not even be here? I've been crying off and on since the staff told me my sister did not make it and that they would contact my family to let them know I was awake. I thought they would come running, but they haven't.

I hear a loud knock, probably the nurse with my next dose of morphine. The door opens and my father and Apollo rush in. They surround me.

"We tried to get here as soon as possible!" Apollo tells me. I look past them to see if my mother was lagging behind, but she doesn't enter.

"Where's mom?" I ask them. Apollo and my father share a look that I cannot put my finger on. "What are you not telling me? She's okay right?"

My dad nods his head, looking like he does not want to say what he has to say. "She took Calypso's death really hard. She's been in bed since the funeral. She won't get out of bed unless she has to use the bathroom." I take a deep breath, feeling like another wave of crying is about to start. I cannot cry. My dad rubs my cheek. I grab his hand.

"I need more morphine. I am in a lot of pain," I partially lie. He nods his head and leaves to get a nurse.

September 13th, 2017...

I open my eyes to see my father, Apollo, and Cookie sitting in a very white room. I am hooked up to machines and I cannot speak. Something is down my throat. They all jump up when they notice my eyes are open.

"I'll get a nurse!" Apollo says running out of the room. Cookie and my father both come to me. My father rubbing my hair, seeing the panic in my eyes.

"It's okay, you are in the hospital. You OD in your bathtub, you've been in a coma since then," he informs me. That did not help the panic at all. Cookie kisses my forehead to help soothe me. Yet, I'm laying there trying to figure out why my own mother is not there. Apollo reappears with a nurse and she looks at my vitals and nods.

"I'll be back to get the doctor, we need to get that breathing tube out of her throat," she tells them. They all stand around me for a while, talking about what all has happened since I overdosed. My dad tells me about some of the shows he's done, but he tried not to be gone too long because he did not want a repeat of what happened last time, where I woke up alone.

I feel like there is something they aren't telling me. The doctors come in eventually and remove everything and my throat hurts, but I won't be getting any pain meds. "Where's mom?" I ask, my voice is very raspy. I hope my voice is not ruined. Like last time, they all look at each other as if something horrible happened.

"She was pulled away for one of my shows, some issue or something," my father says, but I can hear him lying. "There is something else I need to tell you." I don't want to talk so I use my face to ask what. He takes a deep breath. "They revoked your bail. When you get out of here, you won't be coming home."

Thanksgiving 2017...

"You should be out by the New Year. The lawyers are working on getting you into rehab, instead of being stuck in here," my father informs me. I sit across from my father and Apollo, wearing the most uncomfortable jumpsuit. They try to make small talk with me. We have an hour to speak to each other. I cannot focus on what all they are saying to me. They visit me every week, and yet again, my mother has not made an appearance. I have not seen her in months. The anger is building up in me. I want to yell at them and ask where she is, but I know they'll feed me more bullshit about why she cannot be there.