Okay so my birthday was a few days ago and of course your family is gonna wanna come see you for that, but the weird thing about mine is that my cousins is the day before mine, then mine, then my great grandma's, then my grandmas, then like a few cousins come after that.
ALL IN A ROW!
You may think this is cool, but really it's not because when you have a cousin who loves being the center of attention who wants to tell everyone at the restaurant it's your birthday so they sing but you absolutely hate everyone in the world it's Not cool.
So my mom was at work and my family came early. I just wanted to stay in bed and be lazy like every other day in the summer. But no.
So my grandparents were the first to arrive, and the first thing they say is that it smells like piss outside. WELL NO SHIT ITS GONNA SMELL LIKE PISS OUTSIDE! ITS NATURE! CALEB HAS A CAT WHO LIKES TO JUMP THE FENCE AND HANG OUT IN OUR PLANTS APPARENTLY!
Caleb goes to my school and lives right behind me but he's not important.
Anyway, a few minutes later my aunt, uncle, and cousins arrive. Yaaaaaay.
So my aunt, uncle, grandma, and cousin one just prance their little asses into my kitchen and start taking everything everything out and washing them. And they completely rearrange the entire thing.
It sounds like a really nice gesture, but when they make comments to my mom (who is really stressed because of work and health) saying "you won't be able to find anything when we're done" or "I hope we aren't stressing you out heehee" I'm gonna get pissed at you.
So while they're completely destroying the kitchen, they're throwing away stuff without even asking if we needed it. They just chucked it. They even talked about throwing away some dishes WITHOUT ASKING US! They also had me running around looking for rags. My uncle also turned off the electricity to do something. WHO DOES THIS?
They took off all the handles to our cabinets and proceeded to make us have to go to the store later to buy more. (Mind you my mom is way too nice to tell annoying people no let alone her mom and sister.)
So all that's going on —on my birthday— and then my mom and I needed to go to the store to get a cake. She devil cousin wanted to tag along and I said TO HER FACE "no this is gonna be just mom and daughter time since we won't have any of that" *note the hostility*
BUT SHE GOES ANYWAY!! WTH!
So we're in the store and I knew I wasn't gonna make it this whole weekend without having some icing and monster drinks. Wouldn't happen. I was already losing my sanity as is and they hadn't even been there for 6 hours.
My moms being extremely nice buying a mixer and cake mix just so my cousin can have a cake because she's on this weird food whatever, and then I'm like okay Monster time. Also we didn't even make a cake. Waste of money that we don't have.
It wasn't time.
We were heading over to get loads of soda for the three cousins that can have it cause we are pigs, and my cousin has the audacity to tell my mother that she needed to buy rags.
I lost my shit.
Here's how the convo went:
"You need to get rags"
"No we don't"
"Yeah you do"
"No. We don't"
"Uh, yeah you do"
"Why do we need them?"
"So we can clean"
"Did you ask if you could?"
"Well my mo-"
"Did you ask?"
"My mom texte-"
"But did you ask? Because from what I see you guys just came into my house and started touching things that don't belong to you acting like you own the place"
"Don't get an attitude with me"
I wanted to see BITCH STFU and slap her to the moon where she can live.
We make it to the checkout line and I'm grabbing a monster from the things by the register, and she has to open her stupid mouth and say "A monster? Do you really need to be drinking those at 15? They aren't good for you. You shouldn't drink those" AND THEN TURNS TO MY MOTHER AND SAYS "Why do you let her drink these? Are you gonna let her get this?" {I also thinks it's very important that I tell you to imagine someone talking through their nose but highpitched. Don't tell me that that alone wouldn't piss you off.}
I LOST IT.
To stop myself from pushing her head into the register, I punched the cart handle multiple times to the point where my fist is bruised. Yeah yeah anger issues BUT YOU DONT REALIZE HOW ANNOYING SHE IS.
I got home carried in all the stuff for my mom cause she shouldn't be doing that. Take notes kids. I'm oBvIoUsLy the best child ever. Except that I'm really not.
So we get home and I'm just so angry at everyone that I can't possibly take it. I can't even be in the same room with these peeps anymore. So I go to my room for so good ole me time.
And then I cry.
I don't know why I cried, but I've self proclaimed it a tradition to cry on my birthday. I'm pretty sure it's my family. They're just so over the top annoying and rude that I can't handle it. I don't know what the deal is but they need to stop.
My friend FaceTimes me and I'm over here in tears, but I answer anyway because I'm a good friend. I hate calling I'd rather text and not many people have seen my cry. It's really rare for me to cry. I laugh at people who cry so going to funerals is a nightmare. I can watch the saddest movie on the planet and not cry. Only on my birthday do I cry, AND I DONT KNOW WHY. SOMEONE TELL ME WHY.
I know what everyone's gonna be like. Well maybe you should just be grateful that you have a family who loves you. Some of us don't. Trust me when I say that if you had to spend a day with them you wouldn't say that.
And then there's the few of you who don't give a crap about what anyone says and think whatever you think about something is correct. To you I say fuck off.
Well this is pretty long and this was only Day One of the three day weekend. And people wonder why I always dread when my family comes over.
