The Size of our hearts

19

"Jafaar" I said again as I bent down to look at him face to face.

"Who dressed you up like this?" He smiled with tired eyes.

"That's not important right now Jafaar, why didn't you just tell them where Hamid was" I asked as my eyes moved side to side looking for the answer in his.

"If I told them where Hamid was, I'd be telling them where you were" He said as he held one of the iron bars. I slid my hand down until it was on-top of his.

He looked up at me and I gave him a smile. "So why did you come back?" I asked as I pulled my hand away from him. He looked at my hand then up at me. The tension crept up my back and all the way to my neck but thankfully he ignored it.

"The longer I stayed the more trouble I could've put you in but since you're here I see there was no point" He chuckled. He put his hand through the bars in attempt to hold my hand. I pulled my hand back. He scoffed and pushed his hair back. "Hamid?" He asked.

I kept quiet as I looked at him. He looked at me with kindness and confusion in his eyes. He pulled his hand back and looked at my mom. "I think someone wants to talk to you."

I nodded quickly and turned to face my mom. She pulled me into a tight hug but I didn't hug her back. I wasn't angry but there was so much I didn't know about her and it felt like I was hugging a stranger.

She pulled back and looked at me closely as tears rolled down her cheeks. "I don't really know when I'll get you out of here or the next time I'll see you but I need you to know the truth" She said quietly.

"Neveah I did not sleep with that man, he raped me" She said as she shut her eyes and more tears came spurting out of her eyes.

I could feel the anger burning all the way up to my cheeks. I stepped forward and put my arms around her and she laced her fingers together around my waist. She lifted her head up and rested her chin on my shoulder. "Neveah I'm gonna need you to be strong, stronger because you're already strong" She pulled away and grasped my face in her hands and looked straight at my eyes. "You will go back to Nigeria, you will forget me and you will continue school" Then she smiled and kissed my forehead.

As her lips touched my temple, I remembered when I was in kindergarten and my mom found out I was being bullied. She kissed me on the forehead and told me to be stronger because I was already strong. A tear came rolling down and my mom wiped it. I hugged her and promised her I would leave.

I looked back at Mr.Abdul and back at my mom "He'll tell that man what you said" I panicked. "Abdul is my friend" She smiled. "Go on then" She smiled again. I turned around and looked at Jafaar. "I'll get you out of here and you too mom" I said quietly I said as I lifted up my dress and walked over to the door. I wanted to turn around but tears filled my eyes and I didn't want to see my mom cry again. I walked out and sat down against the wall and cried silently for what seemed like forever. I heard footsteps but I didn't care to see who it was. I felt someone beside me and I didn't need to guess who it was. I could smell his oud fragrance. He put his arm around me and I turned to face his chest, he put his hand on my head and started twirling my braids around his finger. He did this over and over again until I stopped crying.

I raised up my head and he smiled down at me. He stood up and held out his hand, I took his hand and he pulled me up. "Mr Abdul, I will walk her to her room" He said quietly. Mr Abdul bowed and we started walking. Hamid didn't say a word. I looked at him. He looked so normal like nothing was wrong. "Did you know Jafaar was in there" He looked at the ground and nodded. "So what're you going to do about it?"

He pursed his lips together and looked at me. I raised my eyebrows and stared at him. "Ok Neveah what can I do" He said quietly. "You can talk to your Father" I suggested.

"Neveah are you dumb or just oblivious?" He demanded rudely. "My Father does not listen to anyone and I'm not going to beg him for anything." He said proudly.

"So you're gonna let you pride get in the way-" I started until I noticed he wasn't prideful, He was scared.

"You're scared." I stated.

He looked at me for a while then something in his eyes shifted and he pulled his hand away from mine. "Your room is two rooms down" He said quickly before turning around and walking away.

I looked at him and shouted "You said you couldn't heal his pain, you said you were sorry, fix this Hamid because whether you like it or not he is in jail because of you" I said angrily.

But he just kept walking until he turned left and I couldn't see him anymore. I shook my head and walked back to my room.

****

I had been laying awake for hours thinking about how I could help my mom and Jafaar.

Hamid's Father had covered rape, had Jafaar's mom killed and probably some other things I didn't know yet but I was desperate to find out.

If I was correct, He had committed crimes against humanity, I just needed proof.

I promised my mom I would go back to Nigeria, but not just yet.

I walked over to my room window and stared at the little houses below, it was so beautiful that I almost forgot about my problems.