𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱 ➪ 𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙠𝙝𝙮𝙪𝙘𝙠

26

a chapter dedicated to mark
because i think we needed it (:
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it was such a hassle to even think about sitting with the basketball team. mark was used to sitting in the library by himself most of the time where he couldn't be bothered by anyone. he didn't like to say he had social anxiety and that communicating with people was a tough thing to do. nobody knew about it, not even jeno, which was kind of sad to think about.

he stood there with a tray clutched tightly in between his trembling fingers, completely lost on if he should sit at the bustling table. for some reason, he could never bring himself to converse with people freely like others and it made him feel disappointed. sighing loudly, mark walked out of the cafeteria and made his way to the library.

ever since the incident with jaemin, the canadian boy found it tough to open up to people in person. there was always a constant fear that he'd get left alone again. he'd always been alone from the start, it was simply the worst thing to get attached to someone you'd preferably want to keep around and then have to let go because they already have. that was also where his stuttering came from. mark hated himself for so many reasons.

ambling into his haven called the library, mark waved to the librarian there like always before going to the table that was practically reserved for him. he pulled his phone out to text jeno before realizing it was early morning in seoul. there were times when mark wished he could move there on his own to live the happy life he always dreamt of. he was joyous over the fact that he'd meet them in less than a month for christmas. getting to see the six crackheads he'd befriended a while ago was like a whole whirlwind of emotions coming to attack him.

although it wouldn't be the same as being in the presence of him, just getting the opportunity to video chat with donghyuck in the evening that day was making mark extremely nervous. he was afraid that he'd get made fun of for accidentally stumbling over his words or over his looks. poor mark had already prepared for the absolute worst so when it came, so he wouldn't have to worry too much later on.

from what mark had seen, donghyuck was crazy good looking. that's why it was such a hassle to have to bear with. there was this weird feeling that he could never be enough for someone like him and it hurt. when donghyuck called him hot, it legitimately made him question on if he actually was or not. now mark just had mixed emotions and a little bit less insecurity over his looks, all because of a stupid text from a stupid boy that a stupid certain someone was beginning to crush on. yes, it really felt that stupid.

mark didn't even know how to describe what a crush was to someone and would probably end up sounding like a child. maybe it was how donghyuck had the magical ability to brighten his mood with his bitchy remarks on everything. it would be weird to somebody else, but that was what made donghyuck who he was and mark found it endearing.

chewing on his yummy watermelon, mark sat in peace while having world war three inside of his mind. he was beyond anxious and it was completely nerve racking. this could either be the best or worst video call to occur in mark's life, albeit he was sticking with the latter.