Caught In A Lie | JiKook (COMPLETED) ✔

Could I win it?

Hello ♡

We're getting to the end of the story.
Only Epilogue is left which I will update on the next Saturday.

Have you listened to winter bear? :(((((( I'm not crying :((((((
It's soooooooo beautiful ♡
TaeTae♡

And about this chapter... it's more like a description of Jimin's life. So it might be a little fast.

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Going back to public wasn't an easy job but the world wasn't going to stop spinning for Jimin. Each day of hiatus was harming not only him but the whole company that's why he forced a smile on his face and convinced Namjoon that he was ready. In reality he wasn't but soon he found out working his ass off and exhausting himself was the best way to shut his mind. He was fine in the privacy of their company, their studio was changed and Bang PD had asked their old choreographer and dance teacher, Mr Son, to work on their new album. Someone Jimin was comfortable with, someone they all could trust, someone who fought the hardest to help Jimin get used to the idol's dancing style. The man adored the boys so despite his busy schedule, he accepted Bighit's offer after hearing a summary of what had happened. They still lacked a manager. Their main managers, Sejin and Hobeom, not trusting anyone anymore. They decided to just work more instead of letting a new person inside their circle. Of course that just added more to Jimin's guilt each time he saw his manager's dark circles and tired face.

Members were getting better at treating him in a way that didn't remind him of the past every second. They didn't have an official make up session or cheesy talks about how sorry they were. They just started talking more and more and Jimin was thankful for that. He knew they were sorry, he could easily read the guilt in their eyes each time he panicked or woke up at night crying or flinched with a single touch. He once heard Jhope crying and talking to Namjoon about how guilt was eating him alive. Once Jin gave him a warm hug without any reason, holding him tighter and longer than usual and apologized for failing him. So he tried to smile more just to assure the members that he was fine, laughed at their jokes and tried to be more responsive just to let them know that he did not have any ill-feelings toward them. Everything was his fault after all.

The sweetness still scared Jimin. He didn't know how long it would last, how far he could let himself get used to it. He was still living in fear, his heart would start racing each time he saw his name trending on search engines only to find out that it was due to a hair color or a game or even an old fancam. He was distressed and vulnerable and Jungkook seemed to understand from how he kept fiddling with the hem of his shirt or hands twitched to stop himself from clinging to the closest trusted person; so he kept increasing their skinship more and more. None of them asked to get back together. But since a night when Jimin woke up crying, they simply started cuddling at nights. He loved how Jungkook would pull him closer only to whisper to him softly that he won't have to face his fears alone anymore. Some nights Taehyung slept between them, saying he had a nightmare. Those were the nights that Jhope had had to spent on the coach because they needed to stick the beds together to have enough sleeping space for three person. And of course they talked and played till dawn instead of sleeping.

Of course life wasn't a fairytale with unicorns and rainbows. "The happily ever after" only existed in stories. He learned it when he faced the outside world, where he wasn't protected inside the walls of the company. There were juniors who didn't bow to him, just walked past him while giving him side eyes, seniors who, instead of answering his greeting, just waved their hands and left. He knew they all had heard rumors about him. Namjoon told him that their opinion did not matter which Jin kindly translated into "Yea Namjooni is right. They can shove their opinion in their ass." Which earned him a giggle from the maknae line and a frown and hiss from both Namjoon and Hoseok. Yoongi was unaffected as always. There was a time when a camera-man acted harsh toward him without a reason.

"Don't blame your inadequacy on our member." Hoseok was fast to react and Jimin was thankful. The man didn't dare to disrespect him again. Yes they were rumors but no one wanted to piss-off a group who was charting high. Not everyone was bad, his friend Taemin visited their waiting room and gave him the deepest warmest hug they'd ever shared, A junior bowed and asked to for his signature, Shinhwa's JunJin (A/N: it was Minwoo when I wrote it but... well... you know :| ) tapped his shoulder and complimented his dancing, called the dust part of his dance artistic. He was still scared, weak and vulnerable but it wasn't that bad. He could live with it. He still had his friends, his co-workers, his teachers. He still had Jungkook.

"Hyung. You should know loving me wasn't wrong." Jungkook told him one night. Both cuddling in the privacy of Jungkook's room. Hoseok had kicked them both out, saying he might end up throwing up because they were disgustingly sweet. Jimin just hummed from where he had his head rested on jungkook's chest, tightening his grip on the younger's shirt. He wondered for a second why Jungkook never complained about Jimin wrinkling his shirts all the time. "I love you so much Hyung."

The sweetness in his tone brought fresh tears in Jimin's eyes. "You shouldn't."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm filthy." He was. Jungkook was still young, innocent, pure, naïve and he deserved someone as pure. He didn't need to waste his life on someone as broken and used up as him. He could be with anyone. Someone better, more handsome, more cheerful. Someone who wouldn't cry every damn second or wrinkled his shirt.

"Do you really think like that about yourself?"

"I know what happened. Namjoon Hyung can call me a victim, Jin Hyung can say it wasn't my fault all the time. But I know what happened. I was there."

"What do you think happened Hyung?"

"You know what happened."

"I wasn't there."

"I know I wasn't raped. I gave in to them because I wanted something in exchange. You want me to say it? Fine. I asked for it like a slut. I begged for it. I let men I knew or didn't fuck me and toy with me because it was a price I had to pay."

Jungkook's watched how he he mumbled those words without any break, eyes wide and glowing. It hurt, how he regarded himself, but he listened, didn't intrupt. His hand came down on the older's flushed cheek, wiping his tears without looking down. "So?"

"So you don't have to like a whore and you can find a better man."

"Jimi-"

"Don't pretend l-"

"I never think about the nature of what happened to you." Jungkook talked over him. Pressed his free hand to the mattress to sit, pulling Jimin with himself. "Was it rape or not. I don't really care. I mean...yes... it was wrong, what they did to you. But that's not what I really think about. What I think about is that the man I love did something he didn't like, something that hurt him really bad, just for the sake of us, for the sake of me. It makes me feel safe because I know whatever happens, there is an angel watching over me, protecting me at all cost. And Hyung… It makes me love you even more." His index came under the older's chin, forcing his face up. His touch was gentle but firm. He starred at Jimin's glossy eyes and smiled despite his own suffocating lump. "Hyung I love you so much. You have no idea how much i want you."

Jimin laughed and slumped forward, resting his forehead on Jungkook's chest. His laughs soon turning into sobs. His knuckles turning white from how hard he was clutching the younger's shirt. A part of him wanted to send him away, to a better man, far from his filthy existence but another part was afraid of losing him, dreaded the lonlieness, a future without Jungkook.

"You wouldn't have cried like this if you wanted it." Jungkook whispered. He gently cupped the older's face, wiping the tears on his face before leaning to kiss his teary eyes. "It hurts more when I see Hyung hurt."

"Hyung I love you." He repeated as he rested his forehead on the older's, face flushing from Jimin hot breath on his lips. "May I kiss you?" Jimin's weak nodding was all he needed for connecting their lips. Jimin wrapped his arms around Jungkook's neck, trying to get closer. It was their first kiss since their break up. He had almost forgotten how the younger's lips felt like, how they were made to complete his. For months he was harassed by aggressive lips, cold touches and painful intimacy. But Jungkook's touch was gentle, caring, his lips were warm, sweet and he wanted more. Jungkook's kiss wasn't filled with lust, vengeance or spite and anger. His was filled with love and it made his frozen heart flutter a little.

"I love you so much." Jimin whispered between the kiss, bringing a little smile to his young boyfriend's face.

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Thank you for reading ❤