Chapter 15- Home Again

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I felt frozen.
How could I get my hands to move off the steering wheel. How could I get fingers to open the door handle. How could I get my feet to get out or my car and step onto the cracked pavement. How could I direct my steps towards the house that held my personal hell. My worst nightmares. My darkest memories.

I somehow started moving. Not sure how I got the courage but I did it. I shut my car door and shuddered at the brisk wind that blew my hair into my face. 

I took a deep breath and walked across the street. It felt like I was moving in slow motion. Hugging my arms around myself I felt my heart pounding in my chest. The uneven wooden front porch steps sagged to the right in front of my feet. I took a step up, one foot in front of the other. 

1...2...3...here. 

The door was a foot away from me. I looked to my right and left, making sure the street was empty. I didn't really know what to do next. It was clearly abandoned, with the boards over the front window and the overgrown vines on the porch and siding. 

Me entering this house would technically be a crime. I would be breaking and entering a residence that wasn't mine even if it wasn't occupied. Was I ready to deal with the possible consequences of that? 

You have to do this. 

I knew my decision before the thought even entered my mind. I reached for the door knob and turned it.

With baited breath I prayed that it was open. 

The door opened and my whole world hit me at a hundred miles per hour. 

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