Series of Unfortunate Events One-shots, What-ifs, and Drabbles

What If? Book the Thirteenth

"Push Olaf overboard," the youngest Baudelaire suggested. Her siblings looked at each other, then at her, in shock. 

And then they thought about it.

He'd been abusive when he was their guardian.

He'd killed Uncle Monty and Aunt Josephine.

He'd hypnotized Klaus.

He'd kidnapped the Quagmires.

He'd framed them for murder, then arson.

He'd tried to kill Violet.

He'd kidnapped Sunny.

He'd imprisoned the Snow Scouts.

He'd made mayhem at their so-called trial.

And now? Now they were out at sea with him. Who knew what else he'd try to do to them.

Violet inched forward. Klaus put a hand on her shoulder, his eyes full of questions. "I should do it," he said.

"No. I'm eldest. I'm supposed to be taking care of you." Violet whispered. With that, she came up behind the villain, still trying to change the nameplate on their small lifeboat. She steeled herself, and with one tiny push, the villain was floundering around in the unforgiving waves.

"NO!" Count Olaf screamed. "You three are terrible henchmen!"

"Row." Violet took up her oar. Her face was stony. "Row."

Klaus took the other oar and they paddled furiously away from the villain. He could hear the man's cries for help. He wasn't sure whether he felt bad, and that made it worse.

The storm that came mirrored the inner turmoil of all three Baudelaires- Sunny for suggesting the idea, Violet for doing the deed, and Klaus for sitting idly by. The three children took refuge under the seats of the boat, knowing they were murderers. There was no way Olaf could survive the storm without anything to shield him from the wind and rain.

Violet took Klaus's hand and pulled Sunny closer to her. "I love you," she whispered to her siblings. "I love you so much."

Klaus squeezed her hand and put his other hand on Sunny's head. "We love you too, Violet."

"Love you too," Sunny echoed.

The siblings clung to each other as the storm raged around them, trying not to imagine how it must feel to drown. Finally, after what felt like hours, the storm cleared.

They found themselves on a coastal shelf among a plethora of lost, discarded, and broken items. 

"Well," Violet said, "I propose we walk west, in the hopes of finding an island."

Her siblings agreed, and they began to trudge through the sand. After a while, Violet found herself blinking back tears. Why was she crying? For Olaf?

Or for herself?

Klaus put an arm around his sister's shoulders. 

When Friday went storm scavenging that day, she found three children huddled together, crying. 

When Ishmael offered the children a choice between a safe, simple life on the island and the interesting, complicated world they'd left behind, the Baudelaires knew which choice they would make.

Klaus was allowed to keep his glasses but willingly gave up his commonplace book.

Violet traded her hair ribbon for white robes.

Sunny turned her back on flavor in favor of cordial and ceviche.

A typical day could find Sunny helping Mrs. Caliban prepare ceviche and seaweed salad, Violet fishing with Erewhon, and Klaus having long conversations with Ishmael while piling clay on his feet.

They have learned not to rock the boat anymore.