Tangled Webs - An SVU fic

9.Boundaries

TREVOR'S APARTMENT

"I need to go!" I announced as I ran around the bedroom collecting my things and shoving them carelessly into my bag.

"Olivia"

"No, Trevor, please I just... really need to be alone right now ok? I can't... I - I can't think, I just..." my mind was such a complete mess.

"At least let me see you home safely"

"No I'll um, I'll take a cab, I'll be fine."

"Baby, talk to me"

"And say what? I'm sorry that I might be carrying my abusive ex-husband's baby? Oh yeah; a baby that was conceived the night he sexually assaulted me?"

"You don't know that it's his baby."

"And I don't know that it's not! God, what has happened to my life?" I asked myself as I sat down on the king-sized bed "This is not how I imagined things would be for us!" Trevor sat down beside me and reached for my hand, slowly intertwining his fingers with mine and we sat there in silence for a moment. "I can't ask you to do this." Trevor turned to look at me, the expression on his face told me on no uncertain terms that he was offended.

"You haven't asked me to do anything! What will it take to make you get it? I love you; all of me, every part - mind, body and soul loves you; all of you, and everything that comes with you! If you wanna use this baby as an excuse to run away from us, you go right ahead, but I will not give up that easily." He lifted my chin so that I was looking at him. "I am here because you are home! You are where I was meant to be and you are worth fighting for; WE are worth fighting for! Baby, this situation can't break us, okay? I'm not willing to let it and neither should you be."

"I wish that I could go back and undo that night."

"But you can't" he said and kissed my hand "all we have is now."

"I can't have his baby! He is twisted and sadistic and will use this to make my life hell if he even thinks there's a chance... "

"Olivia, stop." you're making yourself crazy! "Just breathe" I slowly took a deep breath and exhaled; it didn't help.

"This isn't working"

"Then close your eyes."

"What?"

"Close your eyes" he repeated. I looked at him with a curious gaze "Just trust me." he insisted. I sighed but relented and did as he asked.

"Okay, now what?"

"Now, I want you to forget about me, forget about Elliot, forget about everything and everyone else in the world and just focus on you, and what you want for a moment; no buts, no maybes; just your simple uncomplicated truth." He paused before continuing. "Now, with everything else out of the way, do you want this baby?"

My heart had already known the answer the second I looked at those tests. I was scared out of my mind and had wished to god that I wouldn't be pregnant to begin with, then being completely devastated to see that the tests were positive. But once I knew, my heart knew. I opened my eyes and looked at him.

"I have to go" I said and got up, grabbing my bag and walking hurriedly from his bedroom.

"Olivia" I heard him call after me in a sad voice but I didn't turn around, not even when I heard his footsteps behind me. "Liv please, just talk to me." he begged.

"I'm sorry!" I cried, my face now flush with the tears I had been holding in. I refused to look at him; couldn't look at him.

"Baby, don't - " he started, but I was already out the door and heard it slam behind me as I made my way down the hall, my tears threatening to overtake me.