chapter nine.
i've been callin' you friend,
i might need to give it up
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minkyu and seol were quiet after both of them have entirely calmed down their minds, minkyu took a longer time for his tears to stop, and seol doesn't ask him to. instead she wants him to let it all out and cry onto her tear-dampened shoulders, then she sincerely hopes this will bring minkyu closer to his full recovery.
right after she doesn't hear him sniffling anymore, she told him to take long, deep breaths to help him feel better. his eyes are now puffy, red from all the sobbing, yet he still has that subtle smile plastered on his face. it only hurts her more to see him smiling despite what happened.
"minkyu. please remember you're not alone. you can always reach out, okay?" her voice softens as if minkyu was a five years old who needs to be wrapped in cotton wool. when she pulled away from the who-knows-how-long hug, her eyes met minkyu's downcast eyes. he hummed, like he's accepting her offer.
as much as minkyu hates crying in front of other people because he doesn't want to be seen as weak and vulnerable, he couldn't bear the pain he has been holding back.
he did cry, for days straight after the accident happened. but he cried alone, he cried himself to sleep for the first few weeks. eventually he stopped doing that since his new friends began to feel suspicious about his swollen eyes in the morning after. his excuses were either he ate ramen the day before or he cried watching sad movies, and those couldn't work on them anymore. a boy in his new school named ham wonjin notices minkyu is having a hard time. wonjin didn't judge minkyu at all, minkyu is more than thankful for only that.
when wonjin welcomed him with open arms, saying he'll always be here if he wanted to talk and open up, and telling him it is normal to not overcome loss and grief in a short amount of time. healing needs time. minkyu started to believe the humankind isn't that bad at all.
he didn't even want to bother his mom since he knows it's torturous and harder for her more, losing her other half who she loves with all of her. though his mother noticed about minkyu's jawline getting sharper than ever, he skipped his dinners, with the excuses he already ate outside before going home whenever he didn't have appetite, and he doesn't put that much effort into his studies anymore which his mother doesn't complain about. instead one day she sneaked into his room, minkyu was laying on his bed, she knows minkyu is not sleeping yet and she snuggles with him, not caring about minkyu is too tall to be snuggled.
minkyu always tries his best to maintain his composure, right now he failed but for some reason he didn't regret letting it out. minkyu thought it's true that crying makes someone feel better. besides his mom, and ham wonjin, and maybe the guy named song hyeongjun who is practically glued with wonjin, he didn't cry in front of anyone else.
on the other hand seol felt like she didn't do a good job at helping the younger to feel better. sure, she gave him those awkward back-pats and occasionally she whispers sweet nothings which she's not sure that it is good enough.
she literally doesn't know what to do when someone is crying. even for her, it is the first time seol saw minkyu cry since years ago they have known each other. or maybe seol is just insensible to the vulnerable side of minkyu. seol has to admit that sometimes minkyu's mature side makes her forget about minkyu is younger than her.
seeing him have finally calmed down, seol says. "you can go ahead, you know."
minkyu raised his eyebrows. "you are kicking me out, again."
