band | koo jungmo

10.5

chapter ten point five.

all we do
is think about the feelings
that we hide

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

"the fuck are you doing in the rain?"

seol trembled, having a hard time to figure out whether it was because of the cold licking at her face and crept under her layers of clothes, spreading across her skin or because there was anger in jungmo's voice.

for the record, he doesn't usually curse and it made her blood ran cold that he suddenly did. seol could be positive-thinking and think of it as a joke but of course seol could tell, that he didn't sound like he was joking, and his eyes aren't as friendly as they usually are. and no, they aren't the cool type gazes like in those dramas she watches, which she finds attractive and hot, but his eyes that she fell into as her salvation instead turned her stomach every bit as badly as meeting a stranger after dark. those long looks, telling a story of his bitterness, and how he is upset at her.

jungmo was trying to keep her balance when her legs crumbled beneath her. well it was indeed his fault—he pulled her out of nowhere that seol was caught off balance. his grip tightened, keeping her close to him and unconsciously her hands were gripping onto his arm too, they are a little too close for her heart to not beating so fast. coming to a realization, she quickly separates their bodies which were undeniably too against each other, feeling embarrassed that she was gripping onto him earlier.

she cleared her throat nervously, too nervous perhaps jungmo notices, as she averted her gaze from him when their eyes met.

"you fucking scared me, dumb ass." seol pushes jungmo lightly on the chest, and he released her without putting up much fight.

after mere seconds, he decides to not debate about how his question is ignored, he will only ask her once. if she doesn't want to tell him about what is going on and doesn't intend to fix this, then that's it. a one sided effort won't help, he's tired enough. his head is already filled with several thoughts to begin with. things constantly flooding into his brain at once, but he tries his best to not lose his composure, trying to not blurt out things he'll regret. "are you avoiding me, again?"

speaking of it, it is indeed true that seol has been running away from him everytime she sees him at school. she tries to keep it down and be as natural as possible, but it is easier said than done. she ended up going on a panic mode when they come across each other, ignoring him everytime he calls for her. she feels dumb about it. one time she was having a conversation with hyunbin, jungmo suddenly appears out of nowhere, trying to join in. she quickly excused herself, telling them she needs to water her plants at home. what the fuck was that.

she is not even visiting the auditorium again like she always does whenever she doesn't have anything to do.

"avoiding you? how am i avoiding you? i'm even talking to you right now, jungmo."

what is he gonna expect? her telling the truth about why is she avoiding him, about how she saw him with another girl, and cancelled his plan with her because of that? hell no. not only that will make it weird for her, being jealous when they are not even a thing. it will also most likely ruin a perfectly good friendship.

moreover she intends to silently and begrudgingly accept that jungmo isn't hers. even if not being able to confess is an overall awful state of mind, it will be just a matter of time until she erases her feelings, she hopes.

not caring to explain any further, jungmo knows seol is pretending to be dumb and she truly understands what he meant. irritated is an understatement to describe how jungmo is feeling right now. "alright, i can tolerate that one." he emphasized. like telephaty, no explaination needed for them to understand what jungmo is talking about. it is true—that time, after someone bothered her at the auditorium—jungmo gave her space until she herself finds it comfortable to speak with him again because she was scared, which she is grateful about.