Wings on Tailored Suits // Zarry

xxv.

Sebastian tries to contact Harry two days after the incident. The text he sends Harry reads 'You fucking slut I will beat you up beyond recognition the next time I see you.' With anxiety rising high, Harry blocks his number and pretends like he never even saw it.

Thankfully he doesn't try to wait for Harry at school. Harry is still paranoid that he's gonna walk out of the building at the end of the day and see Sebastian standing at the gate, angry and ready to fight. It never happens.

Harry doesn't tell Lara, Chris and Peyton what really happened. Of course, there are rumours going around, one more insane than the other but Harry only says that yes, he hit Sebastian and yes, they broke up. Nothing less and nothing more. Harry shares a worried look with Zayn over their lunch when Lara starts rattling about those rumours, some of them even getting slightly close to the truth. The second Zayn caught Harry's eye, he changed the topic like nothing ever happened.

They do have a bit of code red that's almost always the same for a breakup. On Friday, a week after the Winter Ball, the five of them ditches all parties and they get waffles at their favourite place for unhealthy food. Code red on a breakup usually involves some crying or at least two days in bed but this time, they all laugh and have a great time. The sadness over what Sebastian did has completely disappeared over the week and now Harry only feels anger. He is furious with Sebastian mainly because Harry's also angry with himself for falling for his lies.

But he tries. After his initial breakdown over it, Harry doesn't spend any time holed up in his bed, crying and pitting himself. That's probably what Sebastian wanted – to completely shatter him. Harry won't let him do that. Sebastian's presence in his life might have helped him but it's not going to ruin him too. So when Harry feels like barricading himself in his room for a few days instead of going to school, he gets up despite every single cell in his brain screaming at him to stay and wallow in self-pity. He doesn't stain his pillow with tears but goes to school and talks to his friends, to the people he loves and could rely on any time. Even if he's tired in the afternoons and evenings, wanting nothing more than to hide from all the people looking at him and whispering rumours, Harry pushes through and doesn't say no to invitations to lunch or coffee. He smiles, genuinely and not with his Harry Edward Styles smile that is faultless and thinks about Sebastian less and less every single day.

Looking into the mirror is hard for the first few days. Seeing the bruises on his whole body, the imprints of Sebastian's fingers and teeth still on him, his busted lip. The feeling of disgust with himself slowly falls away. Facing the reality that he was nothing more than a toy to Sebastian is deprecating but Harry repeats to himself over and over again that it isn't his fault. He thought he was making love to someone but Sebastian viewed their sex life with only slightly more regard than a night with a person he paid by the hour. He refuses to blame himself for that.

Harry spends more time with Zayn than he's had in years. The main reason behind it is the fact that no one else knows what actually happened the night of the Winter Ball. Harry hasn't told his mom, hasn't told Gemma or anyone else. Everyone gets the same trimmed version of the truth 'Sebastian is an asshole and we broke up. He said some nasty shit during when the breaking up happened so I punched him.'. Harry always tries to text or call Zayn when he feels like he's gonna fucking lose his mind overthinking Sebastian's lies. It feels too surreal that a person could do that, much less that Harry experienced it himself. So he and Zayn talk about it late at night, at school, in the afternoons over coffee. It's a form of self-therapy because Harry knows he needs to come to terms with what happened, stop feeling guilty over it and he doesn't want to do it with someone in a shiny office who has no idea who Harry actually is.

Zayn listens to him, nods, talks some sense into him when Harry starts getting ridiculous. They plan Sebastian's murder a few times just for fun when it all gets too depressing. Harry's not scared to tell Zayn what he feels because there probably isn't a single person who knows him better, maybe except for Gemma. They're shared all of their deepest fears and dreams, been together through everything. The need for shame or fear of baring his soul just doesn't exist. And Harry missed Zayn. He missed him so fucking much over the past almost two years and with each hour they spend together, Harry realizes it more and more. Harry finally has his best friend back, someone who he loved so much once he didn't want to even admit until years after they were over.