Kevedd-A New Mom

The Full Story

Edd POV

Still lost in my thoughts I never realized Mr.Smith even came in the room until he called out my name. "Eddward. Will- Will Kevin be alright now?" he whispered. For the first time that day I took a good look at the man. Mister Smith looked terrified as if he was about to lose his son. As if he couldn't handle another hit without truly losing all his marbles. This is a man who is confused and mourning.

"Yes. Thankfully I believe Kevin just needs some rest and medicine and he should recover quite quickly." I said with a small sad smile on my face. Offering any comfort I could possibly give. The man seemed to be a little shy to smile back as he flipped his head away from me. My goodness is this a grown man or a three year old. I could relate, to a certain extent. After my parents passed, it was quite difficult for me to open up. I didn't even really get to mourn them since I had to be strong and smile for Uncle. He was under so much stress a crying kid who whines isn't going to help.

I pulled a bit on my hat. It was a gift from my parents, they got me a box full and I now wear it.

"Mr. Smith. It's quite dangerous to leave a child with a high fever by himself. Nor was it a good idea to just leave him alone you should have checked up on him at least once. Instead of drowning your sorrows." I state softly looking at Kevin as he leaned into my touch. While I was scurrying to find a thermometer I had found one or two whiskey bottles. Mr. Smith was staring at the ground ashamed.

"Yeah, you're right. I can;t even take care of my own son. I'm completely lost without my wife. I honestly thought we spend a few more years together before she would leave. I'm so pathetic. I even was so heartless too forget about you and John's pain. Even a kid was able to get through it." he said gruffly.

I shook my head, as I ran too him wrapping my arms around his torso. I was clearly smaller but he bent down so his face was hidden in my shoulder. We stood in silence as I rubbed circles on the older man back.

"When my parents left... I had to spend weeks just to even talk. You already saw what one of my attacks look like. I don't blame you for not remembering me that well either, it was a long time ago and it's rare for our paths to cross." I start feeling Mr. Smith starting to return the hug.

"I didn't want to be a bother to Uncle. So I stayed quiet with my smile, even if I had to force it. I taught myself how to do housework and I'd listen to everything my uncle would say or even my friends. I never told them my parents died until years after when I was having a panic attack. One day, Uncle was really sick. He was coming from school and he passed out. This was before Auntie came too so I was the only one to take care of him. I spent the whole night and didn't even go to school just to make sure he wouldn't leave me. Because even now, I can't handle another person I care about to perish in front of my eyes." I wavered a bit but at least I got the message through I hope.

Mr. Smith held onto me as if it was for his dear life. I let him, feeling the man's hot tears. How long since this man has been hugged? How long has it been since I've been hugged, It started to feel all to real. I can't cry now though, it's time for me to be strong. Both of us stayed silent, as Mr. Smith broke down. Finally letting himself to be comforted.

After what seemed like a lifetime he stepped back, quickly rubbing his wet eyes. "Eddward you are an angel. You remind me so much of my wife. It's been six months since she's left us... I couldn't face Kevin, he looks so much like her and then I'm just not really good with the... lovey let's-pretend-it's-gonna-be-okay stank. I'm hurting just as much as he is and, we both don't want to talk about it. We like to talk through our fists not our mouths. Susan, she was one of the only woman to ever understand that. She could figure us out by our bodies or as she called it our twitches. She never pitied me when she found out when my dad left my mom at 10 years old, yet she wouldn't mind crying for me when she knew I couldn't shed tears. When I'm sad I just don't cry. If I do cry she understood what to do..."

My throat tightens as he explains, as I can relate to the pain too well...My parents flash through my mind. My uncle's sleepless nights and stressful days. My empty dark lonely room. The accident which only a beanie conceals. My friends.

"Susan was happy with the small things. Even give her a compliment that she's smiling she's happy. She never liked drama and lived a straightforward life with loving friends and family which she happily shared with me and Kevin. Kevin acted much more like me than that I wanted, though she took great care of him. Those days I worked long hours and was also very strong which I guess he idolized me for. He also became so quiet as he won the hearts of everyone around town. I always pressed him to be the perfect man, telling him how to treat his wife and what boys are meant to be. But what made him really close off was as he grew he kept losing more and more people. First his grandparents, then his uncle, then his dog, the only people he ever truly poured his heart to thus he created a habit of only telling Susan believing she would never leave him. He tried giving his heart to Nazz but she never fully accepted him just his strong side. Then he had a relationship with another girl for two years but, as soon as Kevin felt like he could trust someone, she double timed him with another guy and told all his secrets to her friends making fun of him. Kevin came home drunk and never the same as he completely closed himself and became 'party Kevin'. He'd make both of us proud and I'd help him hide that he was drinking. I know it was wrong but I knew it was a problem that Susan couldn't help with. His trust was completely broken except with us."

I pondered who the hell this... this.. Bitch was. How could one hurt the feelings of someone who trusted them so much. It completely crumbled my heart.

"Kevin was heartbroken and became a doll. He was so fucking fake in front of everyone but me and Susan. He never told us if he was in pain though. Susan was diagnosed with some kind of cancer, It was too late for treatment to save so they gave us the pink slip and say sorry she's a goner. The worst part was that she didn't even seem upset... she acted like it was any other day. She even told Kevin as if was nothing when she was bedridden. Neither of us knew what to say, so we also acted like it was okay, as if she would get better. That time we spent shitting ourselves we could have helped her, made more memories for her... " Mr.Smith finished unable to continue as he collapsed into his knees pulling at his blonde hair.

There were no words for that moment, so I did the only thing I could think of. I went down on my knees and crawled to him so I can stare into his eyes. He had the face of a man but, his expression was that of a hurt and lost boy. He looked so... so alone. I could remember my parents first not coming home. They had missed another Christmas and I was being watched my old grandma. I was so excited for my parents to return. But that year they never did. I wished I had begged them to stay for Christmas. Spent more time learning about them, that I had a chance to tell them I love them again and have another peaceful night without sleeping. The way to the funeral grandmother had an accident in which she died from. Right in front of my eyes. I still remember the cold body against mine as the men helped me up. Blood covered my whole body, it was hers mixed with mine, as well as the driver who crashed into us. I wasn't able to sleep for over 3 years.

After getting out of the hospital an uncle who was only in his early 20's became my parent. I often felt guilty for all the trouble I caused him thus I stayed silent. Crying at night when no one could see me and if I had a panic attack or two no one could tell. I was new to the neighborhood anyway that's when I met Ed and Eddy who gave me a space of relief. If it wan;t for them I'd probably committed suicide with everyone calling me a creep and bullying me especially for the hat I always wore. The two never asked questions after I told them it was an uncomfortable topic. They would always let me have my secrets as they let me see theirs with complete trust. They are my closest friends with the Kanker sister being very nice friends to.

I wrapped my arms around Mr.Smith's neck and let out a cry. A cry for all the pain the world brings. A cry because we can;t control how we feel. A cry for the world for being so goddamn cruel. I clung onto him letting my tears soaking his shirt as Mr. Smith lung onto to me again, as now I know the full story but I'm not gonna run away. Because I refuse to leave Kevin alone in his time of need. Because I refuse to be a coward against death again I will get over him again as well with my parents death. We will get through this together, at least they will.

I promise.