Gone// Supercorp fic

chapter twenty three

//IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY

there's three things I'm sorry about right now. the first one is about not posting for a month. I've gone back to work basically full time again now that school is starting and I actually signed up for a writing class to take in my (very limited) free time so my schedule is pretty full but Im trying my best!! the second thing is: this chapter. I'm just sorry. please don't hate me! third thing, if you don't like brief mentions/descriptions of self harm and or blood, please skip over the little section closer to the end. Its very brief and not very descriptive but just in case I will but warnings in bold before and after that scene so you don't have to read it. it does not play a gigantic role in the overall story :) without further ado, I hope you enjoy this chapter and do not murder me, please and thank you. (with a cherry on top) :)))

'because all I know is we said "hello"
And your eyes look like coming home
All I know is a simple name
And everything has changed'

Kara and Lena had been bdanced to the next couple songs. The one cheerleader had come over and apologized to Lena, they didn't buy it but smiled and nodded so she would go away. There was nothing that could ruin this night for them, Kara decided. They tuned everyone else out, it was just Kara and Lena on that dance floor, they couldn't be bothered to acknowledge the other students in the sweaty gym, because they had each other.

After two more slow songs, the next song really shocked Kara.
"Lets go find Alex and Maggie!" The two found the other couple not far from their table, looking for them as well. Soon, the lyrics to Hailee Steinfeld's Love Myself started blasting and the group of girls danced and shouted the lyrics. The song was ended with laughing, from their group. Loudly.

There was plenty more dancing, singing, and laughing throughout the night. Lena was shocked when one of her her favourite songs, Have It All by Jason mraz, (which Kara knew was one of the songs Lena listened to when she needed a pickup, when she was happy, when she was sad, and just in general.) Lena and Kara spent those three minutes that the upbeat song played dancing, Kara spinning Lena around, laughing, and singing along to the song.

"God, I love this song!" Lena had said when the intro began to play.

"May you have auspiciousness and caused on success
May you have the confidence to always do your best
May you take no effort in your being generous
Sharing what you can, nothing more, nothing less " 

She sang loudly as she held hands with Kara and swung around happily. The two girls were having the time of their life.

When the song ended, Lena proposed an idea to go on a walk down the halls. Kara quickly agreed and the two left and walked down the hallways of the school they had attended for years.

"So.. I got a letter earlier.." Lena started, before biting her lip. Kara could tell she was nervous.

"Oh yeah? What about?" The blonde asked, fiddling with Lenas hand in her own as they walked side by side.

"It was a letter from MIT.. I got in with a full four year scholarship"

"Really? That's amazing!" Kara quickly pulled her girlfriend into a hug with a wide grin "I'm so proud of you!"

Lena's face held a matching smile as she wrapped her arms around her girlfriend. Eventually the two pulled apart. "I told mom last night.. she didn't react. She just told me to wait for the others before choosing," Lena shrugged and Kara squeezed her hand softly for comfort.

"I know you applied to a couple, which one are you hoping for? I know Alex and Maggie's first is Stanford so they can be together while being close to home at the same time"

Lena shrugged "I don't know, both MIT and NYU have great technology and business programs.."

"Lena.." Kara stopped walking and looked down to Lenas hand in her own "both MIT and NYU are like 3,000 miles away,"

"I know"

"How.." tears formed in Kara's eyes as she approached the dreaded conversation. "What will happen to us if you live three thousand miles away?"

Lena shrugged looking down at the floor before looking up to meet Kara's glassy eyes "I don't know.. I honestly haven't thought about it"

"You- you haven't thought about it?!" Kara dropped Lenas hand and took a step back away from Lena. "How have you not thought about it?"

"I-I don't know! I didn't want to ruin our time together!"

"So what happens when you leave?? You're most likely going to move across the country, Lena! Did.. did you even think about me? At all? Did you ever consider how this might effect me too?" By now, both Lena and Kara had tears streaming down their rosy cheeks, makeup successfully flowing down their faces.

"I don't know how a long distance relationship would work, Lena!"

"A-are we breaking up?" Lena asked in a small voice

"I-I don't know. just.. give me space," was the last thing that kara said before running down the hall and out of the building.

"fuck!" lena screamed, and tried to run a hand through her hair but quickly remembered it was in a high pony tail. her hand dropped down to her sides.  

SELFHARM/BLOOD WARNING BELOW

her head hung low as lena looked at the pink scars across her wrists. 

'nearly nine months..' lena whispered, to no one but herself.

lena thought back to that day, months ago, when kara found her in the bathroom crying as the red, thick liquid dripped out of the newest one. 

'chocolate makes everything better'

'I wonder what she ever did with my bl-'

AND ITS OVER

"lena? you hoo?" 

Alex. 

"Where did kara go, Lena?" the brunette asked, confused to see lena but no kara.

"t-that way," she said with a shaky voice as she pointed in the direction kara had sprinted off too. 

"is everything okay?" Maggie asked, coming up behind Alex. she immediately saw her friends tears and scooped lena up into a hug before signalling to Alex to go find kara. 

//please don't hate me I have a plan. also I'm starting to write the next chapter after I get some orange juice so you know hopefully it doesn't take a MONTH. Mwahh!