What We Once Were: A Bughead Fanfic

Chapter 18.

Betty awoke from sleep vaguely recalling the argument she'd had with Jughead last night...

"Betty? What do you think you're doing out here?" He'd leaned against the doorway of the guest house.

Betty kept her attention on unpacking her suitcase on the bed, her back facing him. "Getting ready for bed." She said with an edge to her voice.

"I told you earlier, you're staying in my room."

"Why is this such a big deal to you Jughead? You should be happy I'm giving you some space."

"What the hell does that mean Betty?" He snapped, Betty heard the floorboards creak as he stepped closer to her.

"You should be happy I'm letting you have your space. That's exactly what you want, and me too." She took a deep breath to keep her aggravation with him at bay.

"Betty, why are you making this so confusing?"

She still hadn't turned around to face him yet, now it was getting harder because she could feel his presence growing closer to her. "Now I have no idea what you're talking about." She scoffed.

"Betty, you've given me my space for five years. I want you to stay with me, in my room. I'll sleep on the floor if you want me to, I don't care. I just want you close to me, and I thought you'd want the same after this week. I don't know what kind of defense mechanism you're trying with me but it won't work because I still...still—"

Betty cut him off, quickly turning around, "Jughead, please, don't." She sighed, looking at him standing there, his hair curly and unkept as a result from his fingers running anxiously through it. "Jughead, don't say it, please don't say anything more. Just...leave me alone please." She whispered, her voice dying away as tears began to cloud her eyes.

It was so silent Betty could swear she heard Jughead open his mouth and suck in a breath of air before deciding not to say the words he wanted to tell her.

Instead he said, "I don't understand you Betts. I used to know you better than myself but now, you kiss me then push me away. You go out on a date with me, kiss me again then pretend it didn't happen. Betty, I know I hurt you, but haven't I proved to you that I'm a better man now? Haven't I proved to you that I'm fit to be the father our daughter needs? Don't you at least want that for her?"

"Please Jughead, just leave me alone." Betty said, her voice harsh.

"Betty, I can't change the past, and I know that the reason you're pushing me away is because you're afraid I'll hurt you again. Hurting you also hurt me Betty. And this time, I don't ever plan on hurting you or Juliet ever again. I still love you Betts."

And with that, Jughead walked out, closing the door softly behind him. As soon as Betty was sure he was far enough away from her, she broke down and began to cry. She threw her suitcase on the floor, tearing through the silence with an ear splitting THUD as it's containment's exploded all over the polished wooden floor.

She threw herself on her bed and buried her face into her pillow to muffle her cries and screams of angst. Why? Why does she continue to push him away when he's been nothing but kind and courteous to her and Juliet? He has proven himself, she can see it in his eyes that he still loves her and wants to start over again. And Betty wants it too, but she still holds back. Hiding behind the walls she's built around herself for the last five years.

'I can't get hurt by him again. I won't let myself be hurt by him again, because I know that this time, I won't be able to handle losing him again.' She chanted over and over to herself. Betty hated herself for doing this, for being so god damned protective of herself. Falling in love with someone is so hard, and when you do, it feels like a perfect euphoria, you feel safe and loved, nothing can hurt or touch you. But as soon as that blissful world is taken away from you, achieving it again is almost impossible.