fighter | sequel to monster ✓

let me hear his voice

[Lee Jooheon]

"Why don't I remember him! What are you doing to me?" I couldn't stop screaming. I was so upset, I was so done with everything. I wanted to be at home, in my own room. I wanted to relive all my lost memories.

How is it even possible to get rid of someones best moments in time?

Why did they have to take him away from me? I kept seeing a blurry face in my mind, no features. I didn't have a name, I didn't have anything if I didn't have him.

I screamed and screamed until someone finally came into my dungeon. I looked up to see Jaebum. I hadn't seen him since the mission, fucking snake. He walked right over to me, crouching down to meet my eyes. We locked eyes for what seemed like forever.

Until he brought his finger up to my jaw, tracing it slightly. A pout formed on his face, he was mocking me. I felt my blood boil. "What is poor, little Jooheon upset about now?"

I struggled in my seat, still tied up as I was in the video. The one they sent to my family, they sent it to hurt my angel. "Let me talk to him."

"Oh Jooheon, I can't do that. You know that as well as I do. Why don't you just accept that the last time you'll speak to your beloved boyfriend is when your physically ripping him apart. When you're the one to shed his blood all over the floors of my estate."

My stomach turned. I couldn't see his face but I could hear his voice. Begging for me to stop, to not kill him. But they will have already erased myself, so I would hurt him. I would turn him into a bloody mess, I would go psycho. Then this game would be over.

"They already know where I am. They know your plan. Let me talk to him before I'm gone, before I turn into the monster I really am. That's all I want and I won't resist anymore, I'll let you corrupt me. I just want to hear his voice one last time." I looked into Jaebum's eyes, he felt remorse. He felt sorry for me, he wanted me to have this. He wanted me to be happy just once before he ruined me.

[I.M Changkyun]

I laid in Jooheon's bed. I hadn't touched any of his belongings since before the mission. I slipped into one of his shirts, hiding underneath his blankets. I felt as if his arms were around me again, I felt like he was here with me instead of tied up all alone. It was the first time I had a sense of safety since he was gone.

I couldn't get the image of my Jooheon bleeding and hurt, he looked terrible. He looked in pain both mentally and physically. I couldn't stop seeing him struggle to remember my name, a name he had know for over twenty years.

"You shine like the stars, you light up my heart." My ringtone. The last person to call me was Jooheon, who would want to talk to me now?

I sat up, taking my phone from the night side table. I looked at the unknown caller I.D, it looked somewhat familiar. Should I even be answering this? Probably not, I shouldn't pick up. I stared at the screen until the call ended. But the number called back again, not even a second later.

I brought the phone up to my ear, muttering a quiet "hello" into the microphone.

I heard more than one person breathing on the other line, I contemplated just hanging up. But part of me couldn't. "It's me, Jooheon."

My heart stopped, his voice was raspy and rough. But it was most definitely Jooheon.

"J-Jooheon? How are you calling me? Where are you? I'm going to get you home, I swear-"

"I needed to hear your voice before I lost myself. I don't think I'll be able to speak to you again, but I never stopped loving you. And I miss you everyday. I'm sorry it came to this, I'm sorry I can't be with you right now. I love you, okay?"

I could almost see the tears sliding down Jooheon's face. I should've known he was going to blame this on himself.

"No, this is not your fault. We're going to get through this, I know we are. I love you, Jooheon. I'm going to get you home, then you'll be able to be with me everyday."

"Don't come here, I don't want to hurt you. Don't fall for their plan, please. I don't want to be the one to hurt you." My mind flashed back to my nightmare, "Don't come find me." Except this was different, Jooheon loved me. He wanted to be with me.

I sighed, I knew he was right. I knew he'd be different when I next saw him, I knew he'd be under the control of Jaebum. But that wasn't going to stop me. "I'm not the same, Jooheon. I'm stronger, I can handle more. You're not going to hurt me. I'll get through to you, I know I will."

"But what if you don't? What am I going to do when I'm responsible for your dead body? I don't want to be a monster."

My throat tightened. He thought he'd kill me, he thought he'd go through with his assignment. And part of me saw it happening. We were both silent for a while, and I found myself unintentionally rubbing my 'monster' tattoo. He didn't want to be what I was.

"They took you away from me. I don't even know your name. I want to remember you. Your face, your body, your tattoos. Tell me about you, please."

I started to cry with Jooheon at this point. They're ruining him. They're hurting him through me.

I began to describe all my features. Everything from my hair color, to the scars covering me. I told him every single meaning for every tattoo. I told him why I got all my piercings. I told him how it felt when we kissed. I told him everything.

"Your name, you didn't tell me your name."

My face was practically a waterfall, and I knew I couldn't tell him my name. I was his main target. I could hardly get the words out of my mouth, but I tried my best to.

"I c-can't tell you my n-name, Jooheon. That'd make me a much easier t-target now that you know e-everything about my appearance. I'm s-sorry."

"Promise me something. Promise me you'll kill me before I can get to you. I won't be me, I won't be Jooheon. You'll still be you. I won't deserve to live like the monster I'll be."

I looked down at my free hand, making a fist. I swallowed. I put my pinky finger to the back of the phone. "I pinky promise."

And I never spoke to Jooheon after that.

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i deadass cry writing every chapter. i'm physically dreading writing the chapter where they meet up because i can already see the waterworks. i promise this book won't be all sad lol.