The Journey Home

Chapter 10 A Child's Impression of Things

Maria Louise held tightly to her Aunt's hand for fear of losing her in the press of people. The young girl looked about her at the entrance to the waiting area and ticket office, feeling the immediate strangeness of her surroundings. Heavy black swags were draped over each of the windows as the country remained in deep mourning over the loss of the Prince Consort nearly one year ago, but the girl thought that this strange, cold place was sad for her Mama, brother and sister. To a four year old, this was a very natural reaction; her small, safe world had been taken from her and everyone was clearly as sad as she was. She missed her home, the warm sun and the blue ocean.

She saw the approaching soldier and a terror struck her. She grabbed Margaret's skirts in both hands, seeking safety. "Tía, mira! Un soldado se acerca! Estamos en problemas? Se me quitan ?" Margaret placed a hand protectively around Maria Louise's shoulder. "No, my child. These men are here to help us. You are safely with me and they will not take you from me." Maria Louise looked tentatively up into the face of her aunt and took comfort in her smile. It was a good smile because the dimples at the sides of her mouth appeared and this reminded Maria Louise of her handsome Papa's smile.

Maria Louise missed her family so! It was difficult for the child to understand why she was sent away and not allowed to stay with her father and brothers. Although she loved her Tía Margaret dearly, she could not do things the same way her Mama and Papa did them. She needed someone to swing her about as Papa did, she needed to feel the embrace of her Mama before bed. It was nice when Tia hugged her, but she did not smell like oranges and vanilla like her Mama. No one called her Nini, as her brothers had. She was allowed to bring only her doll on the journey, but left behind the miniature cradle, chairs and table that Papa had carved for her doll. In fact, all her toys and warm bed were left behind and it felt very unfair.

She did not understand their abrupt depature from Cadiz. She heard and saw very little after Mama got sick. It was this gap in information that caused her to feel anxious leaving her Mama at Cadiz, with no one to care for her sleeping body. Tía had explained to her that Mama, Louis and baby Isabella had gone to be with God, and that she would not see them for a very long time. Maria Louse thought that this was very confusing. She knew exactly where they were and it seemed a very easy thing to go and visit them. Her brothers said that they put Mama, Louis and her baby sister in a box . If this was true, she could open the box and there they would be, all quietly sleeping. She tried to tell Tía but it made her very uncomfortable to speak of the box.

Tía was talking to the strange men in English and Maria Louise tried to follow the words. She spoke Spanish at home with her family. Only Tía and Papa spoke in English. She had learned many of the words that Tía used while she played a word game with her brothers and mother, finding the Spanish translation for words like bonnet or umbrella, pocket watch and teapot. It made Papa happy to hear his children speak to each other in clips of English. He said that the boys would need it some day when they sailed to find treasures for the family. When they were in Cadiz, Maria Louise enjoyed listening to her Tía read aloud from books about girls and boys living in a place called London in a strange land far far away. Now she and Tía were going to London, a place where bad men took little children and turned them into thieves, or left them in homes for children without parents, and this made her very scared. She was a girl without parents, so perhaps this large man in the red jacket and funny black hat might take her to that frightening place.

The soldier had taken off his hat, took Tía's hand when she extended it to him. And bowed to her. He had floppy hair, like Papa but only a lighter color. He seemed very important with all the buttons and finery on his clothes, perhaps he was a duke or a prince. He certainly smiled like one when he bent down and said words to her in english that sounded kind. "How do you do, Señorita. Lieutenant Brandt, at your service." Maria Louise buried her face deeper in Tía's skirts. She did not want to be taken away "Por favor, please, Sir. I promise. I am a very good girl." He took her small, gloved hand and gently squeezed it. Maria Louise could not help but smile, he smelled slightly of sweet tobacco, like Abuelo, and seemed a very sincere soldier. "You must be very tired, young lady. Will you permit me to carry you through the crowd?" She nodded her head slowly while the soldier returned his hat to his head. He then gently scooped her up, and placed her on his shoulder, just as Papa use to do. "You will see much better from this height, I believe." He read the names of ships and the words on signs written in English as they walked towards the awaiting carriage.