I am a Victim

I'm Fine pt2

When someone asks me,

"How are you?" 

I always answer with the lie, 

"I'm fine." 

What I really want to say is:

Exhausted, 

Scared, 

Alone, 

Tired, 

Depressed, 

Suicidal. 

I'm terrified and I think I want to die. 

I just can't deal with ANYTHING. 

I want to go home but when I'm home, 

I feel lost. 

I want someone to hold me, 

But I push everyone away. 

I need help, 

But I don't want it. 

 I want to go to sleep and never wake up. 

I want people to realize I'm not okay,

But I don't want to tell people how I feel. 

I don't even know how I feel. 

I'm lost and scared and so alone, 

That it hurts to lie in bed at night trying to sleep when all I can do is cry.