So school starts on Tuesday which is the day after tomorrow, and I'm not even enrolled. I'll have to do all that tomorrow. I went to the beach and got burNT. so sunburnt. I'm going to be all over the place tomorrow so I'm just trying to enjoying my last night of saneness before school.
I've been thinking about everything that won't be the same after graduation and I don't really know how to feel about it. I'd never really asked myself about the future until I went to a concert in April. I had gotten tickets to see my favorite band in January and the concert was in April, the only problem was that I live really far from where the concert was so I had to fly there. every time that I tried to tell my parents about flights and shit they'd shoot me down and say that they were going to take care of it. So I never really worried about it until two days before the concert. I asked my mom about the flights and shit and we were actually on vacation so I was like "when do we get back home so I can pack for the concert and stuff" and she said that it was better if I sold the tickets...
by this I was freaking out but long story short i thought to myself "I wonder what I'll be doing in two days, will I actually be at the concert or will I be here in the pool or something?" and I genuinely meant it like out of curiosity because if we weren't able to go to the concert I was honestly gonna be bummed but I knew that my mom would have a good reason as to why we weren't able to go. I ended up going and it was magical and shit but what I'm trying to say is that I spent a couple days thinking "this could end up two completely different ways in such a short period of time" and I find that extremely interesting and a little scary/overwhelming. So, that's what I've been thinking about lately like what will I be doing in two weeks?
will I be doing good in school and feeling happy or will I completely hate school and be depressed just like last year? and that goes for more extreme what ifs. Like, what if I don't get into my dream college? what if another one of my family members dies this year? what will I be doing on my eighteenth birthday and where the hell am I going to be? you know? questions scare me sometimes.
bye.
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Randomthis is my life. whoever you are, reading this, this is a story that is as real and as genuine as possible. this is kind of a blog about my life and what I think, but turned into a story?
