"So, what? It was too dangerous
for me to fight against Iron Man
and Black Widow last year because
I was too young and it was too
dangerous, but now some alien dude
wants to destroy the planet and I'm
suddenly totally cool to fight?"
Sequel to...
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CHAPTER THIRTY | CAN WE TURN BACK TIME?
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my brother once showed me a piece of quartz that contained, he said, some trapped water older than all the seas in our world. he held it up to my ear. "listen," he said, "life and no escape."
-plainwater: essays and poetry // anne carson
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Bella didn't know Clint well. Not like Nat, or Steve, or any of the others did. Still, she refused to waste her time mourning a death that would be reversed by the day's end. Tony's replica of Thanos's gauntlet was underway and once the stones were placed, they'd all be back in 2018 to snap everyone back to life. She couldn't think about Clint, or anything else. All she could allow her mind to focus on was getting back to 2018, so that she could put her entire life back on track — everybody's lives back on track. In 2018, Clint was alive and he would soon be getting his family back. So why bother mourning in the first place?
Bella swirled her spoon around the bowl of canned chicken noodle soup she'd warmed up. She thought of her brother, and how he'd always have the same brand of canned chicken noodle soup in stock for when she got the slightest cold. Perks of growing up in an abusive home, she'd always joke — much to the discomfort of her friends who could not relate in the slightest. While most kids' older brothers were tormenting them, hers was making sure she didn't die, bloody and painful. Alex was a saint, always had been.
For once, as she thought of him, she didn't feel that typical crushing weight. Instead, she felt hope. Hope that she would get to hug her brother again, and hear him tell her that everything would be fine. She wanted him to roll his eyes at her antics and remind her to be safe and not get into stupid shit. She wanted to ignore him, teleport home with a split lip, bloody nose, and black eye, and make him heal her. And, in no time at all, she would get to do all of that again.
Her mind wandered then to Liz, and their late night FaceTime calls, and their plans for her to visit in the summer, and room together as freshmen in college. She thought of Abby, and how they would clutch each other's hands while watching scary movies and pretend that the blood and guts on the screen didn't actually freak them out. She thought of Ned, and his kind smile and loud laughter. She thought of MJ and their wild debates over Star Wars, Harry Potter, Game of Thrones, and every other pop culture giant. And she thought of Peter, and the way his lips would curl around her name; the way he'd hug her from behind and whisper "babe" in her ear; the way he'd literally sweep her off her feet and pull her to the rooftops of buildings before she could grab him to teleport.
All of her old, forgotten routines would cease to be her old, forgotten routines as they were now. They'd return to just being her life. Her plain, old boring life.
"Soup's gonna get cold."
Blinking, Bella looked up and saw Nat standing in front of her.
