Torture• Bradley Will Simpson/ the vamps

Pre-panic

My jacket was flug over my shoulder, the bell sounded and that meant only one thing. i was free from Chris for a matter of hours.

"Dont forget tonight." Chris spoke over to me in a patronizing tone. Like i could forget.

I gave a quick nod his way, and escaped through the double doors. My headphones were quickly attached to my head and i was lost in a world of mis-understood lyrics.

Dad was against picking me up from school, he said i needed to learn my lesson. apparently a two mile walk is the perfect way to do this. I never saw the logic in this. Never the less, i spent the next hour putting one foot infront of the other, with a cigarette never leaving my grip. It wasnt so much that i actually wanted to smoke, It was the fact i had nothing else to do. So when one died, id light up a new one. I suppose dad didnt know he was giving me the freedom to this on my walks home.

I doubt he would care, or even notice though. The sign to the street I lived on came into view of my eyes, so I stubbed out my last cigarette of my packet, and headed towards the front door. My phone made a noise notifying me someone had tried to get in contact with me, so I hesitantly checked.

It was Lily.

Are you off to Chris' tonight? I could do with someone I actually like to be there haha x

It was almost reassuring knowing I wasn't the only one who was slightly apprehensive towards tonight. I quickly text her back as I locked the door behind me. Of course I told her I wouldn't miss it, and it will be fine. But that was more convincing myself I think. A lot can happen in such alarms group in three weeks. I just hope I'm still accepted, even if I don't accept them.

I tripped into my room and did a quick sweep over the place. My bedroom was in the converted garage, mainly so I was out of the way of dad and his many female visitors. It was a plus to me though, with the large window that could open fully. It meant I could basically come and go, with whoever I wanted, whenever I wanted. And the rest of the house was clueless.

My speakers were quickly turned on and my bedroom doors bolt was secured. Scavenging under my bed I found what I was looking for. A small bag from weeks ago.

"Just to tie you over" Uncles words were reminded inside my head. His menacing tone that no one trusted- not even blood.

In all honesty, there could be anything in this so called bag of cocaine. But right now I didn't care. I just wanted to get off my tits- so to speak.

Two lines down, I realised it was about time I began actually getting ready. Also, I owed the rest of the bag to Lily after last nights antics. i changed from my school trousers into my my black ripped jeans and a basic white round neck. My signature necklace was still hanging around my neck, although I added a few extra bracelets on my wrist. My body was in full effect of the coke, every muscle inside of me wanting to dance along to every beat of the sound coming from my speakers.

Trudging downstairs, dad was nowhere to be seen. I made my way into the kitchen, traces for some kind of pre party appetiser. Everyone knows an empty stomach is a reliability when it comes to what Chris has in mind. There was a load of bread hanging out the pantry, so I took a slice or two and ate them dry. Looking through the cupboards, I found dads stash of whiskey, and took a swig to make the bread go down easier.

Taking a quick glance at my phone, I saw it was getting late. Of course I wouldn’t want to be the first person there, but with my sudden burst of courage with the substances id just welcomed into my body, I decided to set off to Lilys.

Lily looked mind blowing.

She opened the door, letting a slight laugh release from her lips as she did so. Her hair was flowing, natural of course. However, Lily had made an effort with her makeup tonight. She had dark purple lips, and she had defiantly done something different to her eyes. Maybe eyelashes, or eyeliner. Perhaps even both? I don’t know, ive over heard her talking about this kind of thing. Either way, she looked gorgeous.

“I just have to change my top and ill be ready, come in!” She chirped up, seen as I hadn’t spoke due to the shock of her change in appearance.

I made my way in, piles of brown cardboard boxes by the front door. What they contained was unknown to myself, but I'm sure ill find out tonight. I cant remember the last time Lily got wasted and didn’t cry. The last time she didn’t bring me to one side and told me new stories of what was going on. From the state of the place, and what seemed to be some sudden changes, I had no doubt tonight would be any different.

She made her way downstairs in an identical outfit to my own- black ripped jeans and a white round neck. She even wore a necklace; however hers was a lot more girly. I think she told me once it was called a ‘statement piece.’I don’t know.

“No body told me we were twins tonight!” I gasped, pointing to our outfits.

“Cute init.” She twirled, extenuating her flat stomach as the fabric lay against her skin.

I rested my hands in my jean pockets as she did so, taking in as much of her beauty as my eyes would allow. I felt the crinkle of the fifty bag between my fingers, and brought it out. “Here, I want you to have this before. You shared with me lastnight.”

Her eyes lit up at the thought of a free high, and she almost instantly ran to the kitchen for a knife.

“I already had two lines at home, so whatevers in here is yours.” I spoke over to her, in the least possible patronising tone. I laid the bag into the worn out rug and she knelt, crumpling the bag to try and break the crystals down a little more.

She lifted the knife to try and make the line a little straighter, but with her shakes due to the withdrawal of a day, she struggled. Eventually, after letting out a slight sigh, she gave up. He head bobbed and she inhaled the powder.

“We ready?” I asked, as she lifted her head, her eyes showing signs of being high.

“As ready as ill ever be.” Lily said as she wrapped her arm around my waist, and I did the same to her.  The two of us made our way out of her house, leaving the door unlocked behind us.