A short story to Jordan/Caitlin. it's Caitlin's journal about the times before they meet as well as the times they have met.
She is the guidance that the broken puzzle that is known as Jordan Knight.
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Caitlin's pov present time August 11 2019.
"How much have you read?".
"Cruise X entries" he replied, "Was I that bad?".
"No. But you were quieter than normal".
" Sorry" he went to kiss me again. As he did so I playfully whacked him with my journal.
"You might as well read it all".
"Oh goody". He took it from me and carried on reading.
" Do you have anything from your accident I can read?".
"Nope. All at home at Jon's. My youngest, Eric did a scrapbook I think it's at home too" he replied.
"Oh, I'm going to look in your suitcase". I leapt from his lap and ran upstairs before he even noticed.
Jordan was still reading my journal when I came back. I never looked for it only because I thought he would come after me. Nope, he carried on reading my journal. Jordan looked at the photos.
" Why are there just mostly pictures of me?".
"Well at the time you were my favorite".
" At the time".
"Well I need a new one now".
" Why? I can still be your favorite" he moaned "Why not?".
" Because you are in different ways now. Boyfriend cancels out the favorite part. I will bias then".
"Oh OK". Jordan goes back to reading again as I sit down next to him. He didn't even notice I was snuggling up to him. He was scared earlier, he wouldn't let me touch him. Now I'm sitting near him. " How bad was I?".
"You look terrified, green in color, shaky and very quiet. Like you were this morning. Still now" I replied "Plus you were different in your appearance too. Thinner. Your hair was messier. Still is now".
" Hey" as Jordan tried to tame it with his hands.
"You were covered up all the time except for the odd buttons undone. You are still now wearing your Pats sweatshirt again. What are you scared of? It's just me?".
" Everything. Worried about everything with the band, cruise and the US tour. I am still not safe in the band. Because of me stuck in the hospital with no voice and pneumonia for days and missing two shows. Most importantly I am worried about what you think. I haven't dated in years. I worry about what you think".
"Same here I haven't dated in years either. So don't worry. We are still building our relationship. And yes we went to another level yesterday in our relationship. It scared me too. Like I said earlier you are mentally and physically tired. Of course, you would fall asleep. Don't worry about".
" I can't drop it like that".
"I know. Where are you in my journal?".
" Interview".
"You haven't read much".
" I was too scared to read for a while. Mainly it might have bad thoughts about me".
"Where?".
"There isn't any. But I would love one of those. I should have had one the cruise".
" What?". I looked at what Jordan was reading before he moved away from me.
The poor guy covers up his scars because he's worried what we think of him. He's had so many problems that we didn't know of and we all have been wanting him to still be who he was not this poor struggling guy with panic attacks. But in my eyes he will always that shy sexy goofball from all those years ago till now. I want to go and find him to give him the biggest hug. I want to cuddle him.
"Oh, Jordan. I will give one if you want but I will wait when you are feeling better, ok? How's your chest? You were wheezing a lot earlier".
" OK now" he moved away. I sighed. Not yet then. We have a step forward but a hundred steps backwards in our relationship in one night.
