Through my eyes

Chapter 5 - Someone to depend on

Chapter 5

I've wish I've find love

I know this sound selfish, but it's true. I wish I've find love. I know I sounds, cheesy and desperate but it's actually not true. I'm not looking for some hot guy to make out with, I'm looking for a friend who's just at the edge of getting out of the friend zone.

I have guy friends of course, but none really close. I don't I have a guy friend who I could call at 2am and they would be their for me. I want to be friends with a guy who I can always count on, and he can always count on me. I've had a guy told me I'm special to him, and a guy wasen't shy about explaining why size matter but still, at the end of the day, I feel lonely. No one to lay my head on at the end of they, no one to talk to seriously. All my guy friends are fun and games, and I like that of course, but I would like a little bit more.

Best friend-less

I feel like I have no one to depend on, no one to tell my deepest secrets and happiest moments. Of course I have friends, but that dosen't mean anything. I have friends who claim I'm their BFF even though deep down, I know the truth. They might be really good actors, but their always that awkward moment when we both can tell.

Non-diverse

I fell like because my school isen't diverse, I feel almost lonely. I feel like all my friends, acquaintances, teachers and peer decisions are based off of what they see. If they are racist, they might second guess me. If they don't like girls, they might second guess me. If they don't...whatever, the ysecond guess me. Every flaw or atvangate of me is used for or agianst me.

Family

Of course I can depend on my faimly, but thier always things you just keep to yourself. Thier always things you know you will be judged by your family on. Of course they say the won't judge, and I beieve that, but at the same time I know the truth. I know that somone were thier going to think "Oh wow, my daughter/sister is _________________." And thier so many things I can fill in the blank.

- Crazy

-Liar

-Bisexual

-Suicidal

-Depressed

-Bad

-Mean

-Rude

-Childish

-Etc.....

Theese all mgiht not be true, and they might be. And right now I can tell your judging me. Your judging me becuase the way I write, express things and what was just listed. I know I'll be judged, so I guess I shouldn't hate but, I shouldn't be judged by my family. Everyones family judges them a little, maybe even more than that. I know God dosen't judge me. and thats great and all, but is thier somone who dosen't judge me who lives on Earth, and is by me right now? But the real question is, If everyone's family, the closet people to them, judges them, who could they trust?

A_M

Side notes

- 756 words

-Chapter 5 - Someone to depend on

- I know this is a short chapter but I feel hollow of words today, do you know what I mean? My minds blank. I pretty much rambled of my line of thoughts until my brain was blank.

Question of the chapter - Who do you believe dosen't judge you, no matter the situation?

-Guys my questions of the chapter is to help you, I don't even check the email in-box and maybe one day I will but even then, I don't know you and it would be stupid of me to even consider to judge you on your answers when I'm pretty writing a book about mine. You have way more things to judge me on than I do for you. I know how I feels to have a secret or a thought held inside and if you share it with someone you know, or someone anonymous you feel like the pressure of that burden's gone. I here to lift weight off your shoulders, I you accept me you'll feel better I promise. I'm not going to tell the world that 2478lollypopgurl@yahoo.com is _____________________. {Random example email address, I don't even know if that email is real, I made it up in my head.} I'm not a rude jerk. This is my way of getting the burden off my shoulders, whats yours?

-Answer to mysteriousanonymusme@gmail.com

-Email spaced out - mysterious anonymus me @gmail.com

- REMEMBER! NO "mous" at the end its a "mus" for my email.