Nowhere To Run

1 - i remember us

Beam was in his office.

Not reading important month end reports. Not signing any documents that needed to be signed. Not doing anything that remotely resembles working.

He was spacing out, just staring into nothing. Thinking of ways to not think about what had happened three weeks and 2 days ago.

Everything about it felt unreal like a movie he just watched with a cliff hanger ending. It's almost like a dream. He desperately wished it to be just like that, a dream. But the bitemarks on his shoulder begs to differ.

Beam touched it. Almost relieved it's there.

'I did the right thing. I did the right thing. This is how it's meant to be.' He repeatedly said to himself hoping that he'll believe it eventually.

It felt like he drank alcohol and it made him sober somehow. Something about what he feels isn't right.

It's almost at the tip of his tongue, nagging him to ask the question. What if he gave him another chance?

NO.

Beam shook off the feeling.

"We would hurt each other even more."
Beam utterred in the hopes of putting an end to his bothersome thoughts.

He wished he had what Kit had. A new beginning with the one he.. loves. Another chance. But that seemed like a punch in the moon. Impossible. They've done far too much to each other now.

Beam sighed and stood up. He needs to get some air and clear his mind. He went out of his office building with no clear destination.

The afternoon sun was low and the wind had started to blow softly. Beam felt the comforting heat on his skin and he closed his eyes to soak in it.

He continued on walking not minding where his feet was taking him. To his surprise, Beam found himself in a familiar street. It was a line up of small local restaurants. Instantly he went back to a memory three years ago. This was where Forth used to take him when they crave for dimsum and milktea.

It's like he can see traces of Forth worriedly handing him tissues when his tongue got burned by the xiao long bao or Forth just staring at him while he was munching on a steamed red bean bun. He can almost hear their laughter when they competed who can eat the most jiaozi.

A short lived smile passed on his lips.

Nothing had changed in this place. Everything was still in their place the way he remembers it. The way they left it.

"Oii! You came back." A woman had approached Beam as he stands at the entrance of the old dimsum shack.

If his memory serves him right, the woman was the owner of the place. He greets her politely.

"You remember me?" Beam points to himself, unsure.

"Why yes. You and that hoodlum used to come here every Friday afternoon. You two were my most favorite customers." She said.

"Hoodlum?" Beam asked with a chuckle.She must be referring to Forth, he thought.

"Yes. He still comes here every now and then. But he comes alone now." She added.

"Wait here and I'll get you some xiao long bao for old time's sake."

She came back as fast as she came in and handed Beam a small container with dimsum inside. He took out his wallet to pay but was stopped by the owner.

"This one is free. Come back again with your fellow next time. I'll charge you then."
She went in leaving a troubled Beam.

What a happy thought.

That may never happen again.

Beam went back to his office before it got dark and proceeded to eat the free dimsum he just received while it was hot.

It still tasted just the same. Exactly the same. In the middle of his meal, a knock interrupted him. It was his secretary carrying an arrangement of yellow daffodils. He stopped chewing as he saw the bright color.

"Sir this was sent for you." She placed the flowers on Beam's table.

"Huh? Uhh.. Who sent it? Is it from one of our clients?" He asked.

Something inside Beam had ignited. His breathing hitched. He wasn't sure if it was a shimmer of hope or something else.

If it was from one of the clinic's client then everything's good. Who else would send it to him? It was surely from a client.

His secretary plucked out a card placed on the ribbon of the flower and handed it to Beam.

"You may go." Beam instructed.

With a bit of disappointment, his secretary left his office. Obviously caught on the curiousity of who the sender was.

He drank a glass of water, preparing for what he was about to read. Before opening the card in his hands he let out a breath to soothe his mind.

'For you. I hope this makes you smile.
-Future Husband'

Beam touched his chest. His heart picking up its pace.