thirty-nine. the goodbye

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amazinggrace   this photo was taken twoweeks ago today on my way to a yankee game

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amazinggrace   this photo was taken two
weeks ago today on my way to a yankee game.
i went silent on social media about a month
ago when things went bad.  and by bad, i
mean plenty of different things.  a single
comment had me question an entire
relationship that i was purely happy in,
i realized i wasn't the person i wanted to
be around certain people, but the big punch
to the heart was hearing the news my
lung cancer came back.  yeah, my cancer
came back after almost fifteen years.
i had a feeling for a while that it had come
back when walking up a flight of stairs
had me winded and i would throw up
spots of blood when i thought i was
pregnant.  i wish i was pregnant in all
honesty.  i wish i had a baby growing
inside of me instead of cancerous
tumors that may kill me one day.  but
no, here i am announcing to the world
that i start chemo therapy in two days,
and that i will lose my hair and probably
lose my smile for a damn long time.
i'm moving to philadelphia to be with
my family during this shit storm and
i probably won't come back to social
media for a while bc i really have no
need or want to.  thanks for sticking
by me and i hope you do during this
next chapter.  love you guys.

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amazing grace.  christian yelich   (book one)Where stories live. Discover now