Redemption For A Monster (Marauder fanfic) Book Three

40- The Cost Of Freedom

Sara and Sirius' names were cleared for all to see, in the Daily Prophet the following morning. Meaning that Sara was allowed to leave St Mungo's.
But despite being so close to Alice and Frank, Sara couldn't bring herself to visit them. Her mind was so fragile, from losing Sirius, that she didn't think it would do her any good, to have Alice look right through her, or to see her and Frank in that state.
So once her wand was returned to her, she left the hospital with Dumbledore, who escourted her to Grimmauld Place.
Sara found it strange to be allowed to walk around freely, without the fear of being arrested.
She knew that there were Death Eaters about, who would like to kill her, but she was much less afraid of them, than having her soul sucked out by Dementors.
Though she enjoyed being outside, and being free, she knew that this freedom had cost her Sirius. And she would have willingly given up her freedom forever, to have Sirius brought back to life.

Since no one was sure whether or not it was safe to be inside Grimmauld Place, Dumbledore kept watch beside the door, while Sara packed up all her belongings.
While searching through her and Sirius' bedroom, she found his will, and a package with her name on, that she couldn't bring herself to open.
However, she did have a quick look through his will, and found out that Sirius had left her several items of jewelery, as well as half of the gold in his bank at Gringotts. The rest of what he owned would be going to Harry, which pleased her.
After reading it, Sara handed Sirius' will to Dumbledore, before saying goodbye to the old man, and going her own seperate way.

After leaving Grimmauld Place, Sara immediately Apparated to the small cottage, where Mary and John lived, as she didn't know where else to go.
When she arrived at her friend's front door, she found it already open, with Mary standing in front of it.
Sara could see John lurking inside the house, but Mary was stopping him from going any further.
"Umm... Hi... I don't know whether or not you know, but I'm not actually a Death Eater, I've been innocent all this time" admitted Sara awkwardly.
"Of course we know, we saw it in the Prophet this morning" revealed Mary.
After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, Mary stepped forward and embraced her friend, letting their years apart melt away into nothing.
"It's so good to see you again Sara... And I'm so sorry about Sirius" continued Mary.
"Thank you" replied Sara, as she released her friend.

"It can't have been easy for you, reading all those bad things about me, this past year, unsure of what to believe" Sara continued.
"No, it wasn't. Reading all those lies about you, and everyone at the Ministry believing that you were a cold blooded killer, it was horrible. I wanted to believe in you Sara, but the Ministry made it very hard to do so" admitted Mary.
"I know. And I'm sorry I didn't contact you, but I couldn't risk it. I also didn't want to put you in a bad postition, where you had to chose between me, and obeying the law"
"That's alright. I get why you did it... John told me this morning that you came here to see him, with a male friend, after leaving the sanctuary three years ago. It was Sirius, wasn't it, the man he didn't recognise, that was with you?".
Sara sighed, and nodded her head.
"Sirius freed me, but before we went to Hogwarts to protect Harry and find Peter, I had to come here and see John".

Mary looked behind herself, to where John was anxiously hovering.
"Right. I'll leave you two to catch up, while I make some lunch for us all" announced Mary, before stepping back inside the house.
Once Mary was indoors, John ran out and hugged Sara tightly.
"I've missed you. All these years, I've been reading horrible lies about you, unable to tell anyone the truth" he admitted, as he took a step back.
"I know, and I'm sorry I put you in that situation" apologised Sara.
"There were times when I thought you were dead... And times when I thought that maybe the papers were right, and you had been a Death Eater all along... I should never have doubted you. Forgive me, please"
"There's nothing to forgive. The whole wizarding world thought I was evil, and I gave you no reason to think otherwise"
"But I should have trusted you. You're my mother, and I should have put your word, above what everyone else was saying".

"I am your mother, it's true. But some mothers don't always tell their children the truth. My mother certainly didn't tell me the truth, especially when it came to my father" sighed Sara.
"What have you been lying to me about then?" Questioned John, curiously.
"I mean, I don't think I've ever directly lied to you. But I may have not told you the whole story, about certain points in my life. Because you are my child, and I want to protect you from things that would hurt you"
"I'm nearly an adult now mother"
"I know. You and Harry have both grown up so fast... But seeing as you aren't an adult yet, shouldn't you be at school right now?"
"When we read what happened at the Ministry, me and Aunt Mary thought it would be best if we both stayed home, in case you dropped by"
"Well, I'm glad you did... Come on, we'd better get inside and help Mary with the lunch".

"Alright... Mother, are you staying here with us now?" Asked John.
"I don't know. Mary doesn't have a big house, and I don't want to force myself into your life again, after years of being away" answered Sara.
"Please stay, I don't want you to go away again"
"Even if I don't live here with you, I will still be a part of your life. I promise I will come and visit as often as I can. But I am still a member of the Order of the Phoenix, and now that I'm not in hiding any more, I will be able to do more to help the cause"
"I don't want you to risk your life anymore"
"I understand that John. But now that Voldemort is back, we are all in danger, and I have to do whatever I can to protect you, and the rest of the world"
"But I don't want to lose you"
"I know. But I have a responsibilty to the Order, and I must do what is expected of me. You'll understand that, when you're older"

During lunch, Mary convinced Sara to stay the night on the old camp bed she used to use, when staying there after the first wizarding war.
Sara had agreed to stay, as the look on John's face when he thought she might be leaving again so soon, had been heartbreaking.
After lunch, Sara excused herself, and locked herself in the bathroom, so that she could open the letter that Sirius had left her.
She had been putting off opening it, as she had a feeling it was going to make her cry. But eventually she decided, that these were Sirius' last words to her, and she had to know what he'd said.
So Sara took a deep breath, opened the letter addressed to her, and began to read.

'Dear Sara,
If you are reading this, and I am still alive, please put it back where you found it, as this letter is only to be read, if I end up getting myself killed.
Hopefully it was a good death though, and I didn't die falling down the stairs or something rubbish like that.
Anyway, I need to apologise for leaving you on your own Sara. I know I promised I would always be by your side, but if you are reading this, then I guess I broke that promise. And I'm sorry.
I need you to know, that I love you very much, and I always have.
Inside this enevlope, I leave my final gift to you.
It's a ring given to me by Fleamont and Euphemia, and it's an old Potter family heirloom. They gave it to me, so that when I found the right girl, I could propose to her with it.
You are the right girl Sara. And I understand that wearing this ring, might be tricky for you, because as I write this, Remus does not know that we are together.
But even if you don't wear the ring, I want you to keep it, so that you can always know just how much I loved you, and wanted to be with you.
Sirius'.

Sara immediatetly emptied the contents of the envelope, onto her palm, and stared at the beautiful ring in front of her.
It had a red ruby in the centre, that matched the necklace Sirius had given her for Christmas, and an exquisite golden band, that held the stone in place.
Sara sunk to the floor, as she held the ring in one hand, and the letter in the other.
Having Sirius leave her a note to read once he was dead, was not a big surprise to Sara, as she too had written one for him and one for Remus, in case she was killed, or got stuck as a dragon.
But she had not expected Sirius to leave the equivelent of an engagement ring inside his, as this now left her with a difficult choice. Did she wear it, and hurt Remus' feelings, or keep it locked away, which was an insult to Sirius' honor?