𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞; byler

Chapter 19- Will

WAS HE STILL drunk? he must be, that's the only explanation. 

Was he really in Mike's arms again? Did Mike actually discover Will's darkest secret? and suddenly Mike's lips were on his... And he felt like he was finally safe again. That is, until Jane popped up in his mind. Until he remembered that day outside Mike's house, the months of pain.

Until he remembered Mike didn't love him anymore. and the no just slipped from his mouth as he pulled away.

"What do you mean?" Mike asked, confusion in his face, and tried to pull him closer again.
"No, Mike. I can't." Will said, pushing himself back until his back was pressed on the headboard of the bed. he curled his feet up into his chest, and stared at Mike.

"I can't kiss you if it doesn't mean anything. I can't do this to myself anymore." He added, dropping his gaze once Mike's eyes locked with his own.

"But it does, it means everything-" Mike tried, grabbing his hands. Will couldn't pull them away. He missed Mike too much. But he knew that Mike wasn't thinking clearly, he knew it was just pity. 

"I know it doesn't. I know you don't love me anymore..." Will tried his hardest to stop the tears, letting his eyes sting but holding the actual tears in. Now he was sure he was still a little drunk, because he hadn't meant to say so much, the words had just flown out of his mouth... a chill ran down his spine thinking about what he could've said just a few hours ago, what he might have said to Mike.

"No, Will! you don't understand! I do love you, It's just Nancy got in my head about how we couldn't ever have a future together, how no one would accept us... It took me a while to realize this, but I don't care! I want to be with you, Will. I want us to be like we used to be." Mike said, passion burning in his brown eyes. 

Will knew him well enough to know he was telling the truth... and knew himself well enough to know that he couldn't go back.

"But she was right! So what? We'll be together again for a year, then you'll find a nice girl like Jane to settle down with, because you're not like me, and I'll be alone again. I want a future, Mike." shut up, Will! he yelled at himself inside his brain. be a normal 16-year-old! Usually people don't end up with their high school sweethearts, normal 16-year-olds don't determine relationships by future... a normal sixteen year old wouldn't even consider going back to a person who had cheated on them for three months. 

but that's just how Will was. 

He knew he couldn't go back to Mike if all along he'd know they were only a little way from the end, if he knew that he was heading into another terrible heartache like this. He didn't even care about the cheating. He never did.

He loved Mike too much for that. Maybe he loved him too much for his own good.

"But that's the thing! I don't want a girl! that's what took me so long to understand; I don't care what everyone thinks. I want to be with you, Will Byers. I want a future with you. and I'm not going to let a bunch of homophobic assholes stand in our way."  Will knew Mike meant it at this moment.

  He saw it all over his beautiful face, the way his eyes were burning, all of him leaning forward.

But Mike had a tendency to declare things, get caught up in a moment... Will knew Mike well enough to know that he needed to think before believing every noble promise Mike made. 

Will wasn't at all sure that he meant the beautiful things he was saying.

 At least, not in the long run. It was too beautiful to think about, to think about being with Mike again, but this time openly. 

Putting his head in his lap while watching a movie with the rest of the party,  maybe even a kiss before class, by his locker... maybe a house one day? a wedding? But it was a dream.

 He couldn't let himself hope that it was anything more then that. He needed to stop the cold chill of happiness running through his spine. Will wasn't the kind of person to have his dreams come true. 

as he knew all too well, the only things that came true for him were the nightmares. He couldn't hide with Mike again, let himself hope for a future... Just to go back to this horrible, horrible place again. Will opened his mouth to tell Mike just that, but Mike barged in before he had a chance.

"You know what? Just get dressed. We have to go." Will looked at him with doubting eyes. He really didn't feel like going anywhere right now.
"My foot is not.. I think I'll just rest." 
"Will- come on, for me. I'll help you with your foot. If this doesn't convince you, I'll leave you alone. Just- Please?" Mike looked at him from under his thick eyelashes, his hypnotizing brown eyes glittering with a panicked hope. His mane of curly black hair was as beautiful as ever.

And really, how could Will say no to that beautiful smile?

[AUTHOR SAYS]
yeppp you guessed it, next part is the last one!!! THANK YOU FOR READING THIS FAR!!!