𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞; byler

Chapter 12- Will

THEY SAY TIME MAKES it easier. They're wrong.

Even after two months, Will felt as shattered as that first day. Nothing interested him. Not spending time with his friends, not watching tv, not reading comic books, not even science class.
Nothing managed to distract him, take his mind away from the terrible hurt.

Nothing except the knife.

When Will's mind was full of physical pain, the other pain was nowhere to be found. So every time Mike's face popped up in his mind (which was almost always) he'd add another cut to the collection on his body. But the knife helped him in other ways too. Because with it he had a secret to keep again, something that was only his. Something to distract his mind from the gut wrenching loneliness, the knowledge that he was completely unloved.

                                                                                  ✴ ⁕ ✴ ⁕ ✴

"Earth to Will!" Dustin's voice called. Will looked up from the ground, not sure what they had been talking about.
"Sorry, long day. can you repeat that?" Will asked, trying to focus.

"I was apologizing. I can't go to the movies with you the day of the snowball, Suzie is coming down with her parents tomorrow especially so I can take her to the dance! mind if we go some other day?" Will didn't mind.

 A movie wouldn't be distraction enough anyway- but his heart sank when he remembered his mom and Bob would leave tomorrow to visit Bob's sister, who was very sick. 

That meant he'd be all alone in his house for three whole days. The snowball was the next night, and Will was counting on going to the movies. He guessed he could go alone, but still...
"Um- yeah, that's cool," Will said, trying not to look disappointed.

"But you should totally come with us to the snowball!" Max said, putting her arm around Will. When did everyone else get there, and since when is Max taller then him?
"No, it's fine." Will responded. 

The last thing he needed was to see Mike and Jane dancing together... He sneaked a little look at Jane, and sure enough Mike had his arms around her. He didn't dare look at his eyes, but silently stuck his nail into the palm of his hand until he felt blood gushing out.
"Nah, we just need to find you a girl!" Lucas said as Dustin and Max turned the hall to go to their history class.
Will's heart pinched even more, but he let out a stifled laugh. "It's fine," he said again. 

They reached their math class, and Will sat in his assigned seat. 

Mike sat next to him, in his seat. Will remembered how much he used to love that arrangement, but that seemed like forever ago. Now he just slid his chair a little further then usual and put his books in a straight line, then pulled out his sketch pad and continued drawing. 

He found that sketching managed to distract him a little bit sometimes, and he really needed that distraction right now.
"That's really good, Will," he suddenly heard, and saw Mike looking over his shoulder at the drawing, smiling at him. Will closed the sketching book and put it back in his bag, his eyes stinging like they always did when Mike spoke to him. He looked straight ahead at the empty board, trying to resist the urge to look back into Mike's beautiful face. 

"No, it's not." he mumbled, and lucky for him that's when the teacher entered the room and class started again.

But Will couldn't focus. the only thing he thought about was how it had been two months since Mike had told him he loved him. Two months since ANYONE had told him they loved him.

[ AUTHOR SAYS]

Again, sorry this is weird but don't worry, the interesting stuff is happening soon.