This One's For You (an Austin Carlile fanfiction)

Chapter 4

I woke up sprawled out among bed sheets, rubbing the sunlight out of my eyes. I checked the clock; it was almost ten thirty, just a little too early. I was about to try to go back to sleep when I remembered what happened last night with Austin.

                I sat up and looked around. He wasn’t in bed, or the bathroom that I could see. I started to get nervous. I didn’t think he would be the kind of person to fuck and run, I thought he’d be loyal. I slipped out of bed and sighed, slipping on a tank top and some clean underwear. I walked into the hallway to the sounds of a spatula scraping a pan and the smell of something yummy.

                I yawned as I walked into the kitchen, noticing Austin in his boxers cooking breakfast. I took a moment to casually look at his butt…casually. He turned to look at me and I averted my eyes. “Good morning!” he said as he plopped a fried egg on a plate.

                “’Morning,” I replied, sitting down and resting my head in my hands. He brought over a plate of eggs, bacon and toast and set it down in front of me. “Wow, thanks, you really didn’t have to,” I said, embarrassed that he felt obligated like that.

                “No, it’s nothing! You’d only have to thank me if it was an omelet or something, because that would be definitely something worthy of a thank you,” he said, and I took a moment to admire his voice. It could be gentle in his words, harsh in his music, or just hypnotic.

                I ate the meal happily; it wasn’t amazing, but it definitely wasn’t bad. He sat with me and we ate in silence for a while. I finally got up to put my plate in the sink, and then went to get dressed. On my way out of the kitchen, he stopped me.

                “You’re quiet this morning,” he said gently.

                “I’m still tired, I didn’t want to get up but then I remembered you were here,” I answered, putting my hand on his cheek.

                “Do you want coffee or anything?” he asked after kissing my forehead. I shook my head no, and leaned against his chest. We stayed there for a few minutes, and then I decided I had to get dressed.

                I went into my room and picked out an outfit; skinny jeans, a We Came as Romans shirt, and a blue sweatshirt. I took a shower washed away all my doubts about the day. Austin would be leaving on tour tomorrow, and today would be our last day together. It wasn’t like we were together or anything, but I wanted him.

                I dried myself off and stepped back into the bedroom, getting on my underwear and t-shirt. All of a sudden I heard Austin say “I’m coming in, I hope you’re decent, and if you aren’t I’m not responsible for what may or may not happen next.” He opened the door as I was about to put on pants, peeking at me to make sure I wasn’t naked. When he saw that I wasn’t, he walked over and sat on the bed.

                “Sorry for barging in but I wanted to ask you something, and I didn’t want to wait,” he said, smiling lightly. “You know I have to leave tomorrow, right?”

                I nodded and looked away. It already hurt.

                “I was thinking…what if you came with us?” He asked, hesitating.

                My heart skipped a beat. “Come with you? Are you sure? How long is it?” I asked, on the verge of freaking out.

                “It’s only two more weeks, I wouldn’t take you if it were too long. I really like you, Lee, and I want to be with you, if you don’t mind.” He touched my cheek.

                “Okay, I’ll go.” I said, almost breathless. He smiled and planted a kiss right on my lips. He put his hand on my thigh and rubbed it softly. It only took him a second to freeze as he looked down at my legs.

                “Lee, are these scars?” He asked as he looked back up into my eyes. “Did you do this to yourself?”

                He was talking about the scars all over my thighs. There were nasty ones that swelled above the rest of my skin and were red even though it had been months already, ones where the skin had split open. I nodded.

                “Please don’t hurt yourself ever again, you could never do anything to deserve that,” he said while looking into my eyes. He said it slowly, with emotion. I nodded. “Promise me, please.”

                “I promise,” I replied. He kissed my cheek and whispered a thank you before getting up to use the bathroom.

                I began to pack my clothes that I would need for the tour in my suitcase, which were only a bunch of tank tops, t-shirts, skinny jeans, and sweatshirts. I didn’t have a complex wardrobe. Austin and I spent the rest of the day downtown.

                We went into the various shops and sometimes were stopped by fans who wanted Austin’s picture. One girl was in tears, and hugged Austin explaining to him that he was her hero and had saved her life. I could relate to her, and the way Austin responded made me love him even more. He hugged her, looked her in the eyes and asked her to stay alive for him so that he could see her again at one of their shows. She nodded with tears running down her face, before giving him another hug and reluctantly going back to her mom.

                “You’re a really good person,” I told him when we were out of earshot.

                “No, I just know what it’s like to be alone, and I don’t want them to feel that way. I really do have the best fans, and they all deserve to be happy,” he said quietly, his gaze seeming far off. It was easy to see why he was so many people’s hero.

                We finally got back to my apartment and watched some stupid movie we hardly paid attention to—we were too busy making out. It wasn’t like last night, though. It was gentle and loving. We fell asleep next to each other on the couch. At some point during the night, I felt him wake up and carry me to the bed, where he got under the covers with me. I wrapped my arm around his chest and fell asleep against his side.