This One's For You (an Austin Carlile fanfiction)

Chapter 6

*Austin's POV*

I watched her chest rise and fall, checking every now and then that it kept the same rhythm. I couldn't stop worrying, despite how many times they'd told me she'd be fine. I looked at the tubes stuck in her hand, and it reminded me of my own hospital experiences. I sighed, and grazed my fingers on her arm. Her skin was soft and smooth on one side, and bumpy, red and scarred on the other. All you had to do was flip her arm over and expose her wrists to see her past. 

I didn't want to think about it. I wanted to know what pushed her to do this. She promised me she wouldn't...

I remembered back to when I'd found her, curled up on the floor, her wrist in a puddle of blood. It broke my heart.

When she passed out on my arms, her head lolling backward and hitting the wall, I couldn't stop myself from panicking, and crying pathetically. I still felt pathetic, it was like she had complete control over my emotions. 

Finally, I saw her eyes flutter open. Those soft green eyes. They glanced at me, and around the room. I could see her confusion. "Austin..?" she asked weakly. 

"Hi, Lee," I answered. "Are you okay? Do you need me to call a nurse?" I was being overprotective, I knew that, but she was important. 

"No..I'm really sorry," she said. She scrunched her eyes closed and rubbed her forehead. 

"It's okay.." I said before kissing her hand.

"No..it isn't. I disappointed you. I'm sorry." I saw her begin to cry. I hated seing her cry. 

"You didn't disappoint me. But I do want to know...why'd you do it?" I asked, because I really was curious.

"I had a nightmare, and when I woke up, I just felt really awful...I'd never had urges so strong before, I just needed it, and I wasn't thinking..." she mumbled, still crying. 

"I wish you'd gotten me, you know I would have comforted you," I said, getting a bit frustrated. 

"I know, I'm sorry, I really am," she said again. I stood up and kissed her cheek. 

"I love you, Lee. I'll be here for you. You need to rest up, okay? I'm going to go get you some food, and in the meantime some of the guys will visit you," I said, giving her another kiss before stepping out. I'd do my best to take care of her, and that was a promise.

*Lee's POV*

With Austin out of the room, I sighed. I couldn't help but feel so guilty for what I'd put everyone through. I didn't want this to happen. One little relapse, was my only intention. Still not a good one, but better than this. 

Aaron stepped into the room. His eyes were soft and he looked a little down. "Hey," he said as he sat down in Austin's chair. 

"Hi, Aaron," I replied, trying to smile.

"You okay?" he asked, and he seemed honestly concerned so I decided to tell him the truth.

"No, Im not," I answered. "I feel so guilty for putting you guys through this. You're probably going to miss a show, and it's all my fault. I suck, I know, and I'm so sorry." It felt nice to get that off my chest, but it didn't take away how much it ate away at me. 

"Woah, don't be guilty about that. It's fine, we'll have plenty more shows near here in another tour. What's important right now is that you feel better. Okay?" he said, smiling. He was really nice, I appreciated that. 

"Thanks, Aaron. Seriously," I said, smiling. He nodded at me, and squeezed my hand before walking out of the room. 

Alan came in, with a soda he was apparently sipping on. "Hey, Leels." Leels? That was new. I didn't mind it, though.

"Ew why is there a ginger in my room," I asked, pretending to be grossed out.

"Because gingers are sexy and its a privilege to be near them," he retorted, earning a giggle from me. Ouch, giggling hurt my head. But that didn't stop me, I needed to laugh. 

He sat down. "But seriously, how are you?"

"I'm okay.." I lied. I already vented to Aaron, that was enough. 

"If you say so," he said, unconvinced.

Tino and Phil walked in. "Wassup, wassup, she's awake!" Tino said, coming over for a hug. Phil smiled and stood behind Alan. 

"Hi Tino, hi Phil," I said. 

"Now that you're awake, could you carry me back to the bus, I'm famous and my legs are tired from standing," Phil joked. I giggled.

"Sure, of course I will." I laughed.

"Good, I wouldn't let just any peasant carry me." He flipped his hair, making me giggle again. He really knew how to cheer me up.

Austin walked in with popcorn, some yogurt, some Doritos, and water bottles. "I'm baaack," he sang. "Who wants what?" 

"I'll take the yogurt and a water," I offered. He handed them to me and I took them happily.

The popcorn whent to Tino, and everyone else got Doritos. We ate in silence for a little while, Austin messing up my hair before throwing away my yogurt cup. 

The doctor came in eventually, clipboard in hand. "Uh...Legion O'Bannon?" he asked. I nodded. I saw everyone's mouth drop.

"Woah wait, your name is LEGION?!" Alan asked, seeming shocked. 

"Yeah...my parents were basically hippies, so, that happened," I said, blushing. I hated my name. I sounded like a movie title. 

After getting over the shock of my actual name, everyone turned their attention back to the doctor. "Right, so, we did some blood transfusions, put some gauze and bandages on your wounds, and you should be ready to leave whenever you like. We just need you to fill out this form." 

I filled out the paper and signed my name, eager to get back onto the bus. The less time I took away from their tour, the less guilty I'd need to feel. I felt mostly normal, but my head hurt from where I hit it when I passed out, and my wrist ached, itched, and burned all at once. I saw the doctor talking to the guys, and I realized I'd probably be on suicide watch now. I sighed. Great, so much for privacy. I'd been monitered before and it sucks. 

We finally got back onto the bus, all set to go. We passed around hot cocoa and took it easy, watching Harry Potter. Tino kept kicking me whenever he changed positions on the couch, and Alan kept stealing popcorn from me. I didn't mind, though. I was just glad they didn't all hate me. 

When I finished the popcorn, I moved over to the other end of the couch and snuggled against Austin. He ran his hand through my hair and kissed my forehead. He put an arm around me and held me tightly. This was why I needed him, he could make me feel okay again. I ended up falling asleep there, but he didn't bother to move me, or even to get up. We stayed together on the couch until the morning. 

(A/N: Sorry this chapter sucks but I was looking forward to writing it so yeah. I almost made an Austlan scene but I think I'm gonna save that for later lol)