𝗲𝘅𝗼 𝟭𝟬𝘁𝗵 𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 星 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗻𝘂𝗲𝗱 ~

「it's not the same pt.1」

It's been a rough week since Lay left. All the members were stressing out right now. I always try to make the boys happy when i see them but I really want to break down right infront of them, i know this is harder for them because Lay was a part of ot12. I want to make them happy even if it means i need to suffer.

I was called in be PDnim about eleven days ago because he wanted me to write lyrics to our new song and i needed to pass it to him by 4 weeks. I already thought of the song title which was 'lucky one' i was also done with the chorus but stuck on the next line.

(Eng ver)

'Oh, the sun is rising
I hold the map that will find you
I follow the coordinates and follow course
No matter, That silver compass will lead to you
The sky is beautiful because it resembles you
Today today you are dazzling
This familiar yet strange path, I will bend
The parallel lines that are you and me, I will climb over and over I don't mind
I'm swept by big waves at the end of this voyage
The moment I rage like the storm and you stop in my world, you are my Only one
The moment I discover you, you shine more radiantly, I'll be the lucky one
You and I (Living it up)
Here (Just living it up)
Keep on coming (wow wow wow wow)
In the same time Oh, the moment we become one
We'll be the lucky ones
You (Oh, you)
You've been secretly hiding your confession-'

I was stuck at that part it was only 9 pm so maybe some of the members were still awake. 'Should i ask them for lyric ideas?' I nodded to myself then went outside of my room.

I went to Chanyeol's room first since it was right infront of mine, I knocked but din't hear an answer, I decided to just go in the door.

"Hey chanye-"

"Get out of my room Carrie." He said while using his phone.

"Ow okay im sorry." I immediately went out of his room. 'His never done that to me before. Maybe his just tired'

I then went to Beakyun's door and went in deciding not to knock.

"Carrie what do you need." He said bored. I looked at him and he looked like he just cried.

"Oh nothing. Just wanted to ask you if you were oka-"

"Why don't you just mind your own business, seriously." He rolled his eyes.

I suddenly frowned then went outside of his room. 'Maybe i can go to Chen' I went to his room and knocked because i was scared he was going to be mad at me too. He opened it then saw me standing there.

"Hey jongda-" i was about to say but then he closed the door on me. 'God why does she always come to me?!' I heard him say. By this point my eyes were getting watery.

I thought about just finishing the song buy myself but i still can't think of any lyrics. 'Im sure D.O can help me'

I walked to his room then opened his door and saw him sleeping on the floor with papers around him. Once I entered his room he woke up.

"Oh hey im sorry for waking you up but can you help me with this?"

He growned then stood up 'maybe I shouldn't have done this' he toke the papers from my hand then read them quickly. He chuckled then gave them to me. "Those don't even make sense." I immediately got embarrassed.

"Can you stop only thinking about yourself think about when people listen to us singing nonsense." He was about to say more but I already left his room then ran to mine.

"I knew I shouldn't have disturbed them, ughhh. I miss lay." I said while tears ran down on my face. As if on queue my phone rang. I wiped my tearsd but my eyes were still red i looked at the i.d caller and saw it was Lay 'oh shit!' I  then pressed answer.

"H-hey la-ay."

'God why does she always come to me?!'

'Those dont even make sense'

"Ow Carrie are you busy i just wanted to talk to you."

"Nope of course not i have time."

"Wait. Carrie are you crying."

"No. Why would i be crying?"

"If you aren't crying then let me FaceTime you." He said then a FaceTime button appeared on my screen 'Oh No shit god please help me'

I pressed it then saw Lay's face right in front of my screen i hid my face since my eyes were red and now puffy. I heard him sigh then he said "Carrie let me see your face."

I wasn't going to do it at first but felt guilty so I slowly showed my face. He frowned then my eyes got watery again.

"I miss you Lay the guys aren't like they uses to."

"Hey i miss you to i can help you but tell me the problem first."

"Since they always look stressed and sad i always try to make them happy even though i want to cry right infront of them. But now i think that im annoying them." I was sobbing so many tears were falling from my face.

"Carrie first of all your so far from being annoying so don't think about yourself like that. I also know that thats not your only problem so tell me more."

"PDmin is making me make a song for our next comeback but i was stuck on one lyric so I decided to get some ideas from them i went to Chanyeol first but he told me to get out of his room, then i went to Beak's room but he told me to mind my own business then-" I sobbed again then continued. "I w-went to Chen but he said why do i always come to him. At that point i was just going to go to my room but decided to give it one more chance so i went to Soo i asked him for help but h-he sa-aid my lyrics din't make any sense-e." Buy the end of it i was getting harder to breathe because I kept on crying.

"Hey Hey Carrie calm down we can fix this alright dont think about the boys right now take care of yourself first send me the lyrics before you sleep so i can help you and I'll talk to the boys tomorrow just don't overthink about it, relax and take care of yourself."

"Hey Lay."

"What is it?"

I sniffed. "Thank you."

"Hey don't worry i will always be here for you. Hey look go to sleep now you need to rest. Bye bye i miss you."

"Bye i miss you to." I said then smiled. Then i sent him the lyrics that were in my notes.

As soon as the call ended I started to overthink again. "Uggh why im i so annoying." I said then grabed my hair. "I should finish the song though ."

I was stressing out again and then started to overthink my eyes were full of tears and i fell asleep with puffy and red eyes.

☁︎☀︎☁︎

Woah this a long chap im suprised
thank you for reading this there will be a part two dont worry. I actually made this
a long time ago but haven't made the part two yet hehe.

I MISS OT9

8/30/19