The story of my life (wattys2019)

Chapter 39

I opened my eyes and groan at the intense pain on my wrist, I slowly sat up, bringing my wrist to view, I had a bandage around my wrist and instead of my hood I was in a grey T-shirt. I sigh nervously, Charlie probably saw everything and he will be asking for explanation.

"How do you feel?" Margaret walked in.

Damn she too, I groan.

"You almost died you know," she handed me a cup and some pills.

I gladly refused, I didn't want to get better, I wanted to die!

"You're awake," Charlie walked in not in the best of mode, he looked really really upset.

My heart tingled at his glare and my gaze lowered to the floor.

"Why Alexander? Why doing this to yourself! How long now?!" He half yelled.

I shrugged.

"Don't you give me that! First you'll take the pills, before saying anything!"

I furrowed my brows at his tune, he was scaring me but it was easy to replace my fear with anger.

"I don't wanna." I barely whispered.

"What was that?!"

"I don't want to." I said bit louder.

"I don't care what you want, you don't wanna get better right?!" He yelled.

"Yes! I wanna die! Why did you even save me?!" I finally yelled.

"Why do you hate yourself, why?!"

"You want the truth? Then I shall give you the truth! I am a mistake, and unwanted person! What can't you understand?!"

"No! who told you that?"

"I don't need to be told! You know it! Even mama never wanted me, I just ruin people's life, I keep ruining lives! Am good for nothing! A worthless piece of rag as tony would say and he was right!" My voice crack as tears welled in my eyes.

"Alex no," Charlie's voice dropped, he looked sad.

"Yes, Charlie, that's the truth, I know you know about it Charlie don't play the victim!"

"I know she never wanted a baby at first, but then it all changed she loved you -"

"But she died curse of me! And I cursed Anthony to be insane!"

"It was not your fault, Anthony killed her right in front of you!"

"It was my fault, I-i opened the door, and he shot mama! the explosion of the bullets, his words, still torment me in my dreams. Am not worthy of living, my life is a shame! No one wants me, not even my father neither my grandparents, I end up hurting those that love me, is better I die! Then all this will cease after all Tony was right the wages of my sin is death!" I dropped to the floor curling in a ball and sobbed.

"I got no body, I am no body, God himself hate me, am just a fuck up bastard and a mistake!" I sobbed.

"You've got us Alex, Charlie, Daniel, Daniella and I, we loved you." Margaret crouch down by my side, dropping her hands on my shoulders.

"But -"

"Hush Alex, we are here for you no matter what, we won't let you down, you've got a purpose in life and killing yourself won't solve anything, rather it will bring more sorrow to us." He lifted my chin so I was looking straight in his eyes, I saw love and protection. I jumped in his arms hugging him tightly, and allowed all my feelings I've bottled for years to pour out, I wet his shirt with tears. Another had wrapped around me and I felt a gentle kiss on my forehead.