Selfish bastard

Part 2

(David's POV)

I catch my breath, my head resting on Simon's chest. I'm exhausted from our rough sex session. He just fucked me restlessly and franticly and I'm now sore and drained, but definitely on a cloud.

It's funny...from time to time, I'm still in disbelief about our affair. As if I needed to pinch myself to be sure. However, it's been six months. Six months since I first shagged my long-term crush, Simon Cowell. 

We both had sex with men before so it wasn't a complete discovery. Yet, for me, it was the very first time with one I really loved and wanted. And It made a huge difference.

We instantly clicked in bed, in perfect harmony. And since we crossed the line, I feel like a twenty years old boy, always longing for our next secret meeting.

From Simon's perspective, it's all about sex. He likes me as a very close friend, no more. I make do with it but to be honest, I wish so hard, one day, he'd fall for me and we'd be a real couple. I try my best to chase these thoughts away, knowing they're useless. Our relationship is indeed meant to be light as a soap bubble. No commitment other than physical. 

Sometimes it just sucks to be the one who wants more and has to keep it to himself. But that's the way it is. At least, when he kisses and caresses me, I feel alive, desired...even loved.

I've been waiting so long for us to happen...The last few months, I caught him staring more and more at me, touching my hand or caressing my back for no reason. The whole thing developed into a strange bond, a strong friendship mixed with frequent sexual teasing.

May I live 200 years, I would never forget that evening. Us, in his hotel room, seriously dizzy, laughing, wrestling like two silly kids. We were physically closer than ever when I met his gaze. It was different, this time, he was changed. And I was really flustered.

He blushed, his breathing was heavy. His eyes were so dark, filled with deep lust. He gave me no time to think as he hungrily crushed his lips on mine.

A few minutes later, we were both naked, feverishly kissing, caressing, nibbling each other's body, crazy with desire, giving the other no rest. Everything felt natural : no hesitation, no question, no fear.

Immediately after we succumbed to temptation, I thought it would be the first and the last time. But Simon surprised me :

" I liked it, David. Very much. Did you ?"

"Definitely", I murmured with a hint of anxiety, waiting for the bad news to come.

"So...would you like us to carry on ? To see each other like that ? "

Of course I would, what a question...And with that, the deal was set. Sex with him and nothing else. At the time, I was so euphoric I saw no harm in letting my feelings for him behind. It turned out to be more difficult than I expected, as my heart soon caught me up.

Sometimes I manage to live the moment and appreciate what I have, sometimes it comes down to sadness and vacuity, after I'm left alone in a room like many others. But I'm unable to put an end to it. I'd miss him too much, even if I don't really have him.

Simon gets out of the bathroom, already dressed up. He smiles and winks at me, sends me a kiss - doesn't even bother to put it on my lips - then leaves. I choose to stay a little longer, wrapping myself into the silk creme sheets, inhaling them in search of his scent.

I watch the ceiling and some regrets resurface...

No, silly, he will never stay the night and wake you up with a long, tender kiss. He will never make breakfast for you. He will never invite you to a nice romantic restaurant, reaching for your hand on the table. Never...

Oh, to hell with your stupid romanticism ! That's the deal, you signed for it. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get on with it, Walliams !

I sigh and get up. My phone rings : I have a message from Jimmy.

' Hey, buddy, what about a brunch at Farm girl tomorrow, 12 sharp ? '

Exactly what I need to cheer me up...