Selfish bastard

Part 8

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(Simon's POV)

"I just need a last signing here and we're done, Mr Cowell" my secretary requests.

I always hated school largely cause I found it boring - that's why I left it so early. Yet now, ironically, I have to deal a lot with paper work, tedious stuff to read and sign. What's the point to be my own boss, really ? I shrug. It has to be done...

Taking a closer look at the file, I see David's name written on it. My pulse begins to race instinctively.

"Sorry but...What's this one about ?" I ask her, already knowing the answer.

"This is David Walliams' resignation, Sir" she confirms. I feel a lump in my throat.

"Of course...Hum...leave it to me for the moment, will you, I just want to check something...and Sylvia ? I don't want to be disturbed for the next hour."

"No problem, I'll filter your calls. I also brought you the daily newspapers" she says, pointing to me the pile on the coffee table before she steps out. I open the folder cautiously, a slight tremble in my fingers, and find the letter.

Not much to say about it : it's cold, impersonal, written on computer, like many other documents of the same kind. But it reminds me the last words I heard from him. They were so harsh, violent, cruel...even his voice was changed. Poor David...he's been through a lot and this is mostly my fault...But I can change it all, starting right now.

I get up and reach for the sofa, take a sit and grab my phone. This sheet of paper on my desk is a sign, isn't it ? A strong sign it's time to act as a grown up. And God knows I believe in them ! I start to text to David, remembering the words Alesha told me. But I'd really like to add my own personal touch. I want him to know it comes straight from the heart.

I let my eyes wander in the room, searching for inspiration and something catches my attention : the Sky's headline. Even if my office was overheated, I instantly feel frozen to the bone...On this tabloid shit is written, in huge white letters : "David Walliams gets the hots for the hostess". Then further on, another title : "Who is she ? The mysterious blond goddess who turned Walliams on".

And of course, there's a huge picture, showing both of them engaged in a hot french kiss, the woman's leg entangled around David's waist, her hands on his bottom. Great.

Shock, bitterness and sorrow, that's what I feel right now. I'm no masochistic but at this point, I decide to check the whole article. It can't be worse, can it ? I usually take this kind of 'news' with a pinch of salt but I trust my instinct : he really did it and the pictures are explicit enough not to have any doubt.

So, to sum it up, David apparently had sex with a total stranger, somewhere in France. And cherry on the cake, he couldn't wait to empty his balls and had to do it at the airport....Classy !

My disappointment equals the hope I still had seconds ago. I mean...seriously, David ? What are you thinking, you cunt ? What's the point to say you love me and, 24 hours later, to fuck the first girl you meet ?

God I hate you...

I sigh heavily, shaking my head in disbelief, eaten up with jealousy. Why, David, why ?...Do I really deserve this ? Am I such a son of a bitch ? Do you presume I have no heart, no feelings, no soul ?...

This is too much for me. I close The Sky in a hurry and throw it in the bin, where it belongs. I can feel it once again : the same nausea that got me when David left, the same loneliness and despair. But there's more...I also feel betrayed. This is silly, I know. We never were a real couple and now, it seems as if he cheated on me.

I'm not his, he's not mine, we're not even a thing. He's not aware of my feelings for him and I hurt him terribly the last time we saw each other. How could I be angry after him ? It makes no sense at all.

I'm sure he acted on a whim, to exorcise his pain but I'm hurt, badly. I delete the first few words I was about to text him and fling my phone on the carpet.

I get up and pace to help me clear my thoughts. Talking to myself, I start to gradually see it all through a different perspective :

"Now what, Simon ? Irony of fate, huh ? Bad timing ? Whatever ! Are you gonna feel sorry for yourself, cry and bang your head against the wall in despair ? Are you gonna throw a tantrum, like a frustrated kid ?"

Not my type...I'm no victim. Never been one, never will be. I'm a natural fighter, a man of action...there's no way I should feel defeated or get discouraged.

David fooled around with some chick ? Apparently. Does it change anything in absolute? Nope. Am I still in love with him ? Definitely.

Let's find a way to win him back, I have to. My heart is pounding way too hard, it's about time I do something about it...