The One I Need; Namtaemin(sequel to The One I Want)

Fresh Start

Jimin

     "So, why are you doing this again?"
    Rolling my eyes, I adjust my slim fitting black skinny jeans and blue deep V neck shirt. I flex around in front of the mirror, checking myself out. Satisfied, I turn to face Hoseok and Jin as they sit on my bed gorging themselves on my hidden chocolate donut supply. Bastards.
     "I'm not allowed to have a date?"
     "Nooo...but how are you going to go out looking like that knowing you have a kid at home?" Hobi snickers.
     I scoff. "Says the freak that parades around in little skirts for shopping money—"
     "Hey! We vowed not to mention that shit again! You never saw that!" He threatens, stuffing his red face.
    Jin snorts beside him, stealing the bag of chocolately goodness. "Was that supposed to be a secret? We all know how your relationship with Yoongi is. You both are weird as fuck."
     "At least Yoongi's mom doesn't like to watch!" He shoots back at the older.
     A flush hits Jin's cheeks as we both bust out laughing. "Shut up! I hate you both! Never should have told you..."
      Sighing, I readjust my shirt before grabbing my bag. "God, I'm nervous. Haven't done this in...years." My eyes widen at the truth of that statement. Namjoon and Taehyung were my last dates...if you can even call them that.
     I never bothered with it all after them and now that we have Ryujin...well...I've stayed focused on her. 
    "It'll be fine. It's like riding a bike, right? Once you get back to it it's easy..."
     "Yeah, whatever. Can you even ride a bike?" Scoffing.
     "Is Namjoon keeping Ryujin all night?" Jin ignores my snide comments.
     "No, I'm meeting him later tonight to get her." I pause, choosing my next words carefully. "I'm thinking of getting my own place."
     They both stiffen. Jin whines. "What? Why?! Ryujin loves playing with Chaerin! You're going to break them apart?!"
     "We've been freeloading off Kook and his family long enough. I should really be considering my future with my daughter. I've just snagged a great job and can save some money. I've thought about this for a while now."
     Hoseok nods thoughtfully while Jin pouts. "Well, I can help you look for a place. Maybe close to me and Yoongi. I can help babysit Ryujin, too. Yoonji will be able to play, too."
     I nod, playing nervously with my gold necklace. Fear eating me up inside. I really don't know how to do this anymore. I used to be a slut—I'll be honest. It was easy for me to get guys and even girls when I felt so inclined. Now though...the thought of this one innocent date is daunting.
     The others seem to pick up on it. "Who is this guy again?"
     "He works at the coffee shop I go to everyday. He's been trying to ask me out for months but...I don't know..."
     "Does he know you have Ryujin?"
     "Yes. Of course I let him know." What do they take me for? How could I deny my own daughter?
     Jin frowns, giving me his signature hyung look. "How old is this guy?"
     I force back a groan. "He's in college and working part time. He has his own place close to his work."
They both look at me skeptically. "So he's a little younger than you. Does he seem respectable?" Hoseok asks, narrowing his eyes.
I throw my hands up in exasperation. "What does that even mean?! He seems sweet and patient. I don't think he's expecting more than I'm willing to give. It's just a simple dinner date. I made it very clear I wouldn't be going home with him. I have to meet Namjoon later, anyway." I explain.
After a long moment and silent debate, they both nod. "Okay. Have fun then. You deserve it." They smile reassuringly.
Right. I deserve this. I deserve a proper chance at happiness.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Wow. You look amazing."

My cheeks redden as I look up to see my date smiling down at me. I stand up and straighten my shirt anxiously. "T-thanks. You look good, too, Jaehyun."

His smile lights up his entire face as he takes a seat across from me, eyeing the table. "Did you have to wait long? I didn't mean to be late. My shift ran over." He looks embarrassed.
"It's fine. I've only been here for, like, five minutes."
The waiter comes over and we order our meals. I take the liberty of ordering some wine to chill out. My nervous making me almost jittery.
He notices. "Are you okay? We don't have to make this into anything you don't want. Let's just...think of this as a friendly get together and see where it goes. No pressure."
His words calm me immediately and I feel my defenses breaking down. My shoulders lose the invisible tension plaguing them and I sigh. "Okay. That sounds great, actually."
His smile widens. "You're very beautiful when you smile. Do you know that?"
"You are, too, more than me."
"Not possible. I'm decent but you...you made me lose my breath the first moment I saw you standing in line holding a little girl on your hip and dying for a latte." He chuckles.
I blush, remembering that day well. I had forgotten he'd seen Ryujin long before I'd taken notice of him. He's been chasing me for awhile now. I was in a bad place them but I'm getting better now.
"Well having children tires you out." I admit.
He hesitates before speaking. "Do you mind me asking about..."
"I don't have a mate—obviously. Ryujin is with her appa right now. We communicate normally but we aren't in any relationship." The words taste bitter in my mouth for some reason I can't decipher. I never wanted to be with Namjoon so I can't understand why it bothers me so much...
He nods. "So you're a single parent basically."
"Yes and no. I have a lot of help and Namjoon does a lot for Ryujin." I admit. No matter our past, he's been a great father. I have to acknowledge that.
"He lost out on something great." He mutters, gazing at me with intent.
I look away. "It just wasn't mean to be."
"Sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."
My lips twitch. "You didn't. Besides...who knows...because of all that...I met you."
His beaming smile nearly blinds me. "Yeah. I got to meet you. Thanks for finally giving me a chance."
Perhaps this is finally my time to find happiness. And perhaps...I do have Namjoon to thank for that. For finally letting me go.
So why does my stomach hurt every time I think about it?