The One I Need; Namtaemin(sequel to The One I Want)

Patience

Jimin

    "Are you sure you're alright with me spending the night?" Jaehyun whispers beside me in bed, his arms wrapping around me tightly, pulling me in closer.
"Yes. It's late. Don't you have to be up early for classes?"
He yawns. "I do. I hate that I haven't been able to spend any time with you lately. I think I'm going through Jimin withdrawal." He jokes, chuckling.
I smile a little. "That's not a thing."
"You think so? Ask anyone that's ever liked you. I guarantee it's a real thing. You're kind of addictive, baby." His hands trail under my shirt and down my to my hips, clutching. His fingers digging into my flesh.
My breath catches. "W-we should get some sleep."
A low quiet groan leaves his mouth as it latches onto my neck. His hand dips into my waistband, barely touching me...his lips capture mine and I feel wet hot saliva drip into my mouth as his tongue thrusts inside.
     My fingers tremble as I clutch his shoulder, unsure. I know where this is heading but...am I ready? I'm not a virgin. Far from it, actually. Do I have the right to actually refuse him if I change my mind? Would he be angry?
      He said he wouldn't get mad but is that a lie? Why am I second guessing everything so much? I really like Jaehyun. He's nice to me. Attractive and hardworking. He doesn't care I already have a child or that I'm older. He's worked hard for my attention and affection. He deserves something, right?
      "J-Jae..."
     He breaks off the kiss, panting. His hand lingering in the front of my pants. Not going any further. "I promised I wouldn't push." With a groan, he removes his hands from my body and rubs his face. "Sorry. Got a little carried away. It's hard not to with you right here beside me in bed." He chuckles dryly.
     "I'm sorry." I can't do it. I'm not ready. "Are you mad?"
     He gives me a look. "Why would I be mad? You can tell me no, Jimin. I'm not that kind of guy. Do I want you? Yes, more than anything. I can wait for you, though. I spent so much time just to get you to say yes to a date. I'm not ruining it by pushing things too fast."
     I feel bad. I'm a terrible person. A terrible boyfriend. I guess I don't know how to be a boyfriend. He pulls me into his arms and kisses my head.
      I snuggle in and close my eyes, breathing deeply. "I won't make you wait forever."
     "I won't rush it. When the times right...then we'll know. I want it to be special for you. I know you aren't a virgin—I'm not innocent, either—but that doesn't mean we can't respect each other the right way. I don't know everything you've been through but I can get the gist of it. I'm not going to be like that."
      I don't say anything. Too overcome with emotion. He really is a great guy.
     "Why are you with me, Jaehyun?"
     "Hm? What do you mean?"
     "You're like this perfect guy. You are young and charismatic. You can literally have anyone you want—male or female. Why do you want such a damaged, used person like me?"
     He forces my chin up with a finger, glaring at me. "Why would you say such a thing? Jimin—do you even realize how amazing are? Sure, everyone has baggage. Everyone is running from something or someone. I think I fell for you at first sight but you wouldn't even look at me." He laughs. "I tried for months just to get a smile from you and the first time I did—I thought I could fucking fly. The fact I made you smile just once made me realize that I want to make you smile all the time. By your side. Maybe I could get someone my age without a kid but that person would not be you. You're perfect to me. I'll be as patient as you need."
     I force back tears. "I'm such an ass."
     "No, you're not. You had no obligation to see me. You were busy with Ryujin and that drama to notice anything else. I didn't give up, though. I won't. Now that I finally have you here in my arms? I won't give up on making you happy. No matter what I have to do. I'm going to work hard to finish college to give you a good life. No stress and no worries." He smiles down at me.
     "I don't want to be a stay at home partner and parent, Jae. I don't mind working. I don't want to have to solely rely on you to support me." Frowning. I can't do that. Look where that got me in the past?
      "I didn't say you couldn't. I just want to take care of you."
     "I'm older. I should take care of you, right?"
     He grins. "Age doesn't matter. I think we both know I should be the one to take full care of you."
    I scoff but don't refute it. It's silent for a while as we both doze off in each other's arms.
     "It doesn't bother you to help raise someone else's kid?"
     He's quiet for so long I thought he fell asleep but he eventually answers. "Not if it's yours. I want what's yours to also be mine."
     I ponder on that as he finally rolls over and falls asleep. I don't know how I feel about that. I guess that's how relationships work. We share everything. But I don't want to truly share Ryujin with him like that. I don't want to cut Namjoon from her life like that.
     I imagine how Namjoon would feel about all of this. He probably wouldn't like it. It doesn't matter, though. This is my life. I deserve happiness and Jaehyun wants to make me happy. He's doing so much. I can step up a little more, too. He's truly one of a kind.
     I sit up and watch him sleep for awhile before going to check on Ryujin. She's sleeping soundly next to her favorite stuffy Taehyung bought her. They've been inseparable since he gave it to her.

     The next morning, Jae leave early for his classes while I take Ryujin to her daycare before work. I park the car in front of the office and just stare into space, thinking.
     My phone breaks my reverie, however. Sighing, I pick it up. I don't recognize the number.
     "Hello?"
    "...Park Jimin?"
    I frown, the voice familiar. "Yes? Who is this?"
    "Jimin, this is your sister. You need to come home. It's appa."
     My entire body stiffens in shock at the sound of her voice. I can't even take in the words. "Why would I? I've been disowned."   
     She sniffs. "Eomma never agreed to that. Appa was the cause of driving you out of the family. He's dying. Eomma wants you here."
     "She didn't stop him or care when I was kicked out with nowhere to go! Why should I pack up my life here now for any of you?"
     "Stop being a selfish brat and just come back. His Will will be read soon."
     "So what? He disowned me." I repeat. "There will be nothing for me." 
     "Doesn't matter. Eomma and the lawyer wants you here. You need to be here by the end of the week." She hangs up without another word.
     Chest heaving, I launch the phone away from me and it clatters uselessly to the floor. I clench the steering wheel as I begin to hyperventilate.
     I can't go back there. I can't. No. I can't relive those memories. I can't see those awful people that treated me so horribly. That ruined my life. Those people that nearly ended my life so young.   
     How am I the selfish one? Who the hell do they think they are to demand anything of me?!   
     Since the moment I left that place, I became free of their hold. I will never go back. They can all die and rot for all I care. They've never cared about me and I'll be damned if they ever find out about Ryujin and try to take her from me.
      Never going to happen.
      I'm not going back.